b3ta.com user steeevc
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» Weddings

I was the worst best man
My gf picked up a "tummy bug" (which involved lots of simultaneous vomiting & diarrhoea, difficulty rating 10/10), mate's wedding was on the Saturday and I was the best man. This same “bug” made itself known to me that very day. Cue me standing at the altar, next to bride & groom, apparently turning every shade from green to pure white. /Just/ before the main stuff happens I run out to the vestry and start throwing up in the sink (the ONLY sink and they had no toilets in the church). I think at this point the guy editing the wedding video muted the sound. They sang an impromptu hymn whilst I was getting cleaned up. I returned and service carried on as usual. I didn't go the reception, but groom's brother read out my speech - even the bit "…my lovely gf sitting next to me…" which now was his gran.
(Fri 15th Jul 2005, 8:17, More)

» Stupid Tourists

England is small
I was in Arizona on business having a meal and a chat with colleagues. At the end of meal we got up to leave and an American chap turned around and asked me where I was from, "England", I replied. He then asked me, "Do you know John? He lives in London.".

Oddly enough I do know John from London but it turned out he meant a different John, what are the chances?!

(Ok, technically I was the tourist but I thought i'd share it anyway!)
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 11:14, More)

» Crappy Prizes

Tickets to France
My mate won two ferry tickets to Cherbourg and invited me along, I was chuffed as I'd never been to France. Tickets were for 1 night stay only and we had to travel on a set ferry crossing.... Arrived on a Sunday at 7am, everywhere is shut, wandered around for 5 hours before we found somewhere open to eat and a room for the night. Did do a bit of sightseeing tho and found a bar, but as I later learned hardly anywhere opens there on a Sunday. We went back 7am on the Monday morning, still nothing open, so no cheap booze or fags. Arse.

Edit: Azmodeus - yep! Looks like my mate fell for that one....!
(Fri 5th Aug 2005, 13:50, More)

» Crappy Prizes

Alton Towers
I won two tickets to Alton Towers from Sky, woo I thought, except I live on the Isle of Wight and didn't have a car at the time. It would have involved about 14 hours of travel & cost £80+. I didn't go.
(Thu 4th Aug 2005, 13:38, More)