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» Fire!
Apollo Vacuum
We will ignore the explosive weedkiller and sugar phase as a sixth former and move on to becomming a proud housowner. I decide to have the gas boiler serviced. The man came around gave it a serious look, then he took the cover off, vacuumed inside and left with shed loads of cash. Some years later.... I thought gas boiler probably needs a service again - I can do that. Take cover off and start vacuuming. My eyes start stinging and theres a funny smell. I turn around to see the vacuum cleaner ejecting massive amounts of smoke out of its exhaust - it resembles the shuttle taking off. In one adrenalin bursting move I have the plug out and I heave the whole smouldering vacuum out of the window and across the garden to the amazement of the neighbours. The vacuum hits the ground and breaks up shuttle style. The flaming dust bag rolling across the lawn into the plants.
I think some of the carbon in the boiler was still "glowing" and in the dust bag with a its perfect motor induced draught we had ignition. I managed to mend the cleaner with a bit of polyester resin - its condemmed to the garage as the smell of burning carpet fluff has never left it....
(Fri 4th Nov 2005, 17:19, More)
Apollo Vacuum
We will ignore the explosive weedkiller and sugar phase as a sixth former and move on to becomming a proud housowner. I decide to have the gas boiler serviced. The man came around gave it a serious look, then he took the cover off, vacuumed inside and left with shed loads of cash. Some years later.... I thought gas boiler probably needs a service again - I can do that. Take cover off and start vacuuming. My eyes start stinging and theres a funny smell. I turn around to see the vacuum cleaner ejecting massive amounts of smoke out of its exhaust - it resembles the shuttle taking off. In one adrenalin bursting move I have the plug out and I heave the whole smouldering vacuum out of the window and across the garden to the amazement of the neighbours. The vacuum hits the ground and breaks up shuttle style. The flaming dust bag rolling across the lawn into the plants.
I think some of the carbon in the boiler was still "glowing" and in the dust bag with a its perfect motor induced draught we had ignition. I managed to mend the cleaner with a bit of polyester resin - its condemmed to the garage as the smell of burning carpet fluff has never left it....
(Fri 4th Nov 2005, 17:19, More)
» Toilets
Highest Crap in the world?
The Grand Moulet hut on the side of Mont Blanc has a spectacular loo. On the aproach side - the hut stands on top of a sharks fin of rock with a scramble to get to it. Even though it is 20 degrees below at night the loo is a standard french hole in the ground and outside around the back. It all looks ok until you get in there and peer down the hole. Then you realise you have walked out onto a concrete platform with a thousand foot drop below you. If that doesnt take the urge away from you the cold wind coming up the hole has a shrinking affect. Anyway I needed a crap so I hung my arse over the hole and hung on like hell to the bar on the back of the door (no lock!) I must have been a spoddy science student at the time cause it was second poop in as I watched it spiral down onto the glacier below - I wondered if you could acurately guage the drop by timing how long your shit took to hit the ice below. Ahh but what is the terminal velocity of an average turd?
(Wed 7th Sep 2005, 14:58, More)
Highest Crap in the world?
The Grand Moulet hut on the side of Mont Blanc has a spectacular loo. On the aproach side - the hut stands on top of a sharks fin of rock with a scramble to get to it. Even though it is 20 degrees below at night the loo is a standard french hole in the ground and outside around the back. It all looks ok until you get in there and peer down the hole. Then you realise you have walked out onto a concrete platform with a thousand foot drop below you. If that doesnt take the urge away from you the cold wind coming up the hole has a shrinking affect. Anyway I needed a crap so I hung my arse over the hole and hung on like hell to the bar on the back of the door (no lock!) I must have been a spoddy science student at the time cause it was second poop in as I watched it spiral down onto the glacier below - I wondered if you could acurately guage the drop by timing how long your shit took to hit the ice below. Ahh but what is the terminal velocity of an average turd?
(Wed 7th Sep 2005, 14:58, More)