b3ta.com user DickScratcher
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From the side I look like Andre Agassi. Which side? the underside.

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Best answers to questions:

» Cheating cheaty cheats

Cheating at flying
well, ok the aeronautics exam. I studied Aeronautical Engineering, where the exam room had a fairly low ceiling and a nice wide joist protruding down about 2 feet from the ceiling. Just right for sticking helpful hints to the back face. If you sat right at the back of the room, you could read them from your desk whilst chewing the end of your pencil in a pensive manner.

Would have worked really well if it hadn't been for people in the rows nearer the front craning their necks to read the notes, or leaning back on their chairs to get a better look. Cue the invigilator strolling to the back of the room to see what everyone was looking at...

Arse. It was taken as a group conspiracy and we had to sit the exam all over again.
(Fri 18th Nov 2005, 11:33, More)

» Council Cunts

CuntingCroydonCouncil
A few years ago..
I returned home to find on the doormat a demand for an unpaid parking fine. Hmm a fine for parking in a multi storey car park no less. This had apparently arisen due to the fact that Croydon (you know, Kate Moss, Captain Sensible - all left town and found greatness) had decided to refurbish the inside of the car parks by painting the floors with new black paint and the walls with white etc etc. During which time everyone trying to use the car park had to guess where the bays would normally be situated. A few weeks later the council came back with a can of yellow line paint to mark out the bays. Except in the meantime they'd issued everyone with those speckled copy-of-a-copy standard demand letters for, and I quote, not parking in a marked bay. WTF? Even after two letters on the subject to point out this rather obvious fact and the associated difficulty in guessing where the bays were, they only went as far as halving the demand. Fascist parking bastards, all of 'em.
(Mon 30th Jul 2007, 22:58, More)

» Shame

Faceoff
Wow! I've been shamelessly off my face before, but this takes the cake...
(Thu 1st Dec 2005, 17:43, More)

» Shame

Nah
I'd miss the pub. Now that would be a shame
(Thu 1st Dec 2005, 17:03, More)

» Shame

If...
I leave this post any later it'll be first in the new QOTW

SHAME they haven't closed this one yet I guess
(Thu 1st Dec 2005, 17:02, More)
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