» Schadenfreude

Don't mess with another man's wife...
A few years back, I was out and about on the razz with my mate & we scored with a couple of girls. Unbeknown to me, but known to my mate, the girl whose face I Was hoovering off was married, but split up form her old man.

I wasn't all that bothered & didn't pursue the girl. A week later, we found ourselves back at the same club, this time though, with another three of my mates. After & by now fairly rinsed, we were outside waiting for a cab & I noticed a guy sat on the kerb, weeping. Being a good lad, I went over & asked what was wrong? He started going on about what a slut his missus was & how she'd stuffed him for all his money, had the shirt off his back, was carrying on with other blokes etc. Now, I had no idea who this guy was (can you see where this is going?) whilst my mates knew full well, it was the hubby of last week's conquest. So they're all stood there thinking 'what a cununt' & I genuinely don't know who I'm talking to.

Then I stood up & walked smack into a lampost, giving myself a good old beer egg, right on the forehead, accompanied by cries of KARMA, KARMA.

Best thing of all, a week after that, my little scrotey mate, who could have clued me in in the first place but chose not to, was telling the story to yet another bunch of mates, as we made our way to the pub again, and had just reached the lampost denouement, when he walked in to a set of low railings, neatly spearing himself in the bollocks & thus scoring the best own goal since Riise stuffed Liverpool in the champions league.
(Fri 18th Dec 2009, 10:49, More)

» Iffy crushes

Sawalha
My mate had a go on Julia Sawalha when she lived round here. True that is.
(Fri 7th Oct 2011, 10:58, More)

» Ginger

Mini Ginge
I have brown hair, so I count that cununt the Pm amongst my kind, my ex. missuss has brown hair & our cute & cuddly three year old is a proper get in Ginge.

I worry about her impending school days, I mean what if she turns out not to be the bully?
(Thu 25th Feb 2010, 15:09, More)