b3ta.com user Malaka
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Profile for Malaka:
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My Blog :Blog

I love fire engines and aeroplanes NNNNYYYYEEEEOOOOWWW!!!!!!

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Best answers to questions:

» Amazing displays of ignorance

Haha, right, this one time, I was trying to explain something
to someone who didn't have any knowledge of the subject area to which I was referrring....

needless to say, they looked rather foolish and I felt incredibly smug!
(Tue 23rd Mar 2010, 13:51, More)

» Toilets

Falling in
I cant remember my exact age, but I was very young. I was at my grandmas, and went for a shit. I fell through the seat and got stuck in it, bent double. I started shouting for help, when I realised I had locked the door. My dad had to break the lock to rescue me.
(Sun 4th Sep 2005, 18:37, More)

» Work Experience

working in morrison's for £3.28 an hour
not too bad actually - i used to get stoned beforehand, hide in the racking in the warehouse, and munch out.
(Thu 10th May 2007, 18:03, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Weird and a cunt
My neighbour has 2 houses on my street, one behind us which he lives in, and another not far away. Anyway, this other house was where his mum and dad lived. They died years and years ago, but he and his wife still keep the house exactly as it was. They hoover and clean up most days, keeping it as some sort of twisted 'shrine' to his dead parents, even turning the lights on at night to deter would-be burglars. When there was a hosepipe ban, he used his lawn sprinklers at night. Weirdo

And he's a cunt, he built a fence next to ours a foot higher, our garden gets hardly any light now.

I get him back by slowly poisoning his beloved ivy with some hardcore weedkiller, and throwing my cat's shit over the fence with a spade.
(Sat 27th Aug 2005, 14:52, More)

» * PFFT *

I work as a waiter
and take pleasure in quietly farting near people when they are eating. Also farting near people in shops, pubs and clubs, quickly walking away and looking back to see their expression amuses me greatly.
(Sun 15th Jul 2007, 23:59, More)
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