b3ta.com user Kallus
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Release The Spores™
SporeTemple - home to Kallus and the Spores... I THINK ITS DEAD

My DeviantArt Gallery - doodles I've done that I actually like.
Spore Shirts, prints etc here - SPORE SHOP :D





Buccaneering Digital Ninja Hermit.
Third Eye Streaming
Keeper Of The Unique Entropic Cranial Rotors.


You can buy SporeStuff™ here!

...fwip fwip fwip™...

I am Kallus, SporeLauncher™...

27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37(!!) y e a r s in this current l i f e




2009 - Sporadic Spore Releases Initiated.

2008: Released Spores on a minor scale - many more left hidden away.

2007: Lurking, now contemplating communicating again, I've got lots of new things to show you...

2006: Cut myself off from absolutely everything for a while, not intentional at first, but I grew to like it.

2005: Survived this far, mostly intact. My Concubine's Eggbelly swells, and has now burst, releasing Kallus Jr Mk2 into this holographic lifegame. Mk1 is consistently amazing. My brain is almost fixed.
Snipped the DreadBeard.

2004: Utterly lost in the Frondulant Depths of the Spores™. Just how I like it.
Grew excessively long chinfur, now allowing it to dread.

2003: Battled insomnia, re-grew dreads, learned about fatherhood.

2002: I saw three people I know and made an entirely new person with one of them.

My Website: IS DEAD

Release The Spores!
...fwip fwip fwip go the cranial rotors taking me through the esoteric and Frondular Rifts...

Kallus Fucking Loves Horses

Free Web Counter

Recent front page messages:

fwip fwip fwip™

(Sat 5th Feb 2005, 23:47, More)

fwip fwip fwip™

|my site|
|Carrot and Onion wallpaper|

(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 12:49, More)


We're doomed again :)
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 4:24, More)

he likes music...

me go bed - nitenite:)

The Daily Spore™
(Thu 5th Feb 2004, 3:09, More)

I have the brain monkeys and am going to bed.

nite nite :)
The Daily Spore™
(Sat 31st Jan 2004, 7:04, More)

Timothy spent his days avoiding shoals of badly animated cartoon fish.

(Mon 26th Jan 2004, 3:19, More)

danger, danger...

The Daily Spore™
(Wed 21st Jan 2004, 17:47, More)

yo ho ho!
there be rum for all!

The Daily Spore™
(Sun 11th Jan 2004, 20:42, More)

I kinda see them sitting opposite each other at dinner

ask the SporeFish™
(Tue 30th Dec 2003, 23:12, More)


see the whole caboodle here!
(Sun 18th May 2003, 13:27, More)

have you ever seen
a frog shagging a beetle?

did this to a mates car a few years back, he was fine about it until he realised that during the night we had painted the frog green.
(Sat 10th May 2003, 20:42, More)


bugrit. damn transparancy muppetry has led to several fuckups on what shoulda been a two minute pootle about.
Anyhoo, here's one of the best ways to attempt to catch a bee - disguise yourself as a small island.

(Thu 17th Apr 2003, 21:47, More)


(Sun 23rd Mar 2003, 1:14, More)


(Wed 12th Mar 2003, 0:47, More)

When Balloons Go Wrong.

(Tue 11th Mar 2003, 2:38, More)

gotta sleep soon
so here's a full version (so far) of Zooming The Fnord...
Gravy n Spores™ to all

sleep well fair b3ta
(Sun 23rd Feb 2003, 5:05, More)

Super Don't Know That He's Drowning Man

(Sun 23rd Feb 2003, 0:42, More)

no idea

(Sat 8th Feb 2003, 14:27, More)

If you grow it...
they will come...

(Sun 19th Jan 2003, 16:32, More)

Now With Hydraulic Extensions.

(Mon 13th Jan 2003, 19:18, More)

evolution took a sinister step forwards
for the winged predator...

size here

yay I got my Furtive :D
(Fri 10th Jan 2003, 3:50, More)

fwip fwip fwip™
(Sun 5th Jan 2003, 2:58, More)


(Thu 2nd Jan 2003, 20:31, More)


cliky fer big

Ask The Sporefish
(Sun 20th Oct 2002, 14:23, More)

that legless horse
found a new home under the sea.

(Sat 19th Oct 2002, 0:05, More)

Entropic Spore Release
clik this pic for the real pic :)

(Fri 18th Oct 2002, 1:50,

There was a fundamental flaw with the Penguin Space Program.

release the spores™
(Mon 7th Oct 2002, 1:55, More)

Best answers to questions:

» When I met the parents

Umbrella ninjitsu in the living room
was probably a bad idea. Cue smashed chandelier and rather sheepish me standing under it with my mighty golf umbrella, and they just keep staring...
(Fri 20th May 2005, 13:17, More)

» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?

After taking an OD of antipsychotics and sleeping pills
and partaking in a vigorous spot of wrist-slitting, whilst on holiday with my girl, in order to be able to physically die so I could save humanity (who had all slowly been replaced by bizarre subdermal insects, vermin and the like), I ended being dumped by my fionsée within the walls of a mental institute.
The nurse giving me 20mg of valium as she drove off afterwards was a nice touch.
(Fri 18th Jun 2004, 4:03, More)

» Have you ever started a fire?

Back in teenage years, I used to enjoy making smoke bombs and smallish explosive devices from fertilisers and the like.
One day, several of us were out in some woods, in two teams, shooting eachother with BB guns and launching smoke/incendiary grenades (using coke cans) at eachother. Two of us came across a dead maggot-riddled pigeon lying across the trail. So we used our bomb mix to cremate the thing. It went up a little too fast and we were suddenly enveloped in thick choking clouds of burning rotten pigeon remains, which made us smell quite foul for quite some time. Yummy.

We also threw one of our smoke bombs in school (on the playing fields) to celebrate the last day of term. Unfortunately, we had the mix perfectly correct, and our amusing smoke bomb turned out to be a rather large explosive device that send hot spinning shards of metal and molten crap over a large area. Which was of course filled with milling schoolboys...
More running and plenty of laughter. No police this time, which was nice.
(Tue 2nd Mar 2004, 20:57, More)

» Have you ever started a fire?

In the summer, when I was 15 or so
myself and two friends were out a-wandering by some huuuge fields. One of them decided it would be a funny idea to begin flicking matches around, and soon there was a small smokey fire beginning to spread through the dried grasses. As fire generally does, it began to grow, until it looked as if it would get out of hand.
We tried stamping it out, but it was beyond that, and the only method left was to smother it with my new jacket. I refused point blank, after all, who wants a brand new singed and smokey coat?
So off we wandered, rapidly, in the opposite direction for about 15 minutes. The fire was huge now, and spreading like, um, wildfire.
A tractor appeared on the horizon and began to chase us. Run run run. Soon enough we were being shouted at by a farmer, from the opposite side of a ditch and a barbed wire fence. There were fire enginey noises getting closer as well.
We managed to evade the farmer and set off homewards, with a thick black column of smoke spreading in the distance.
After a while, the panic subsided and we found it kinda funny, the smoke was covering a vast area now, and it was rather (uncomfortably)amusing because we hadn't been caught.
As we neared home, still walking along a trail by more fields, the twunt that had been flicking matches decided that he was going to fish a golf ball out of a water trough, which took a stupid amount of time. The guy was definitely an idiot.
It was then that the farmers struck. In a pincer movement, they outflanked us and were a little miffed to say the least. They were violently angry as the damage was severe and with a bit more violence and the threat of even more, they got our names and addresses out of us and eventually let us go.

The police came by a few days later, and both my mates were conveniently on holiday , so I was left being grilled by a rather imposing fellow, with a monobrow that could only mean werewolf. Luckily this had been my first offence (or rather the first time I had been caught), and the farmers were planning to torch the field later in the year anyway, so I was let off with a warning. I did think that I was going to end up ripped to bloody shreds the next full moon though.

Moral: Stay away from muppets with matches, never wear your new coat in a field and beware shape-shifting policemen.
(Tue 2nd Mar 2004, 20:48, More)

» Pet Names

I had a hamster
when I was in uni, called Psychorentboy.
He was an escapologist and an acrobat.
Example: I went away for a day, leaving him locked in his cage, which was well stocked up with food and water.
When I returned, all the food was gone, the cage door had been forced open and he had vanished.
I found him a few hours later. He had negotiated a locked door, two flights of stairs, a closed kitchen door and somehow managed to scale the sides of one of those great big plastic flip-top kitchen bins, dived in and was feasting on random crap in the bottom of the bin liner.
He was a great little hamster, up until he had a stroke and began vigorously gnawing away at his body.
He was rather messed up and I had to decapitate him. RIP Psychorentboy.
(Thu 26th Feb 2004, 5:03, More)
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