» Fancy Dress

Road safety
When we were about 5, our school had a float for the town carnival and the theme was road safety. At the time, there was a road safety campaign aimed at children involving a squirrel called tufty.

So after weeks of planning, the carnival day came and my mum, me and my sister (who was the one participating in the float) met with the other mothers and children.

But, oh no, what's this? All the other children are dressed as cute fluffy squirrels, with little ears, and little tails poking out of pretty dresses. What's my mother dressed my sister as? - A belisha beacon. Thanks mum.
(Thu 12th Jan 2006, 22:46, More)

» Urban Legends

Shakin Stevens lives down the Elms
"The Elms" being the road round the corner from us.
Us: Oi what's your name
Man on Bike: Shakin Stevens, now fuck off.
Us(running to tell mum): Mum, mum, Shakin' Stevens lives down the Elms.
.......Silence..........
Us: He said Fuck Off
Mum: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY...SHERYL DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE JUST SAID?-(SLAP)-DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT WORD AGAIN (SLAP)

I still can't get my head round the fact she wasn't excited.
(Fri 6th Jan 2006, 13:14, More)

» Injured Siblings

Where am I?
In any argument that my sister and I had circa 1984 one of us would inevitably bash the others head against the wall. Without fail, this would then result in the person who has just had their head bashed, slumping against the wall in a very unconvincing state of 'unconsciousness'. After about 2 seconds they would 'come round', put on the feeblest voice possible and would choke out the words "Where..... am... I?" This was intended to provoke an Oh-no-what-have-I-done-she's-lost-her-memory kind of reaction from the head basher and then the bashee would laugh at them and think themselves very clever indeed. It never worked. Ever. So I don't even know why we did it so many times. We did live in the fens though.

And she stabbed me in the leg with a pencil and I still have the lead mark too.
(Thu 18th Aug 2005, 16:50, More)