b3ta.com user nattyplatypus
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» Fancy Dress

A couple of years ago...
some of my lady friends were invited to a Barbarella party. A week or so was invested in assembling suitable Jane Fonda-esque costumes.

The night of the party out they all troop (un)dressed up as various nympho aliens, hilarious bus ride fighting off the advances of the cream of South London's manhood (no pun intended) and they arrive at the party...to a bunch of spods all sitting round in normal clothes watching Barbarella on video. Laugh - I nearly shat!
(Fri 13th Jan 2006, 16:12, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

Help the aged
A good few years ago now, I was round at my mates house and his mum was wanting to print out some document on the computer. She asked for help.

Clicked on documents from the start menu , up popped list of recently viewed documents. Out of mild curiousity I couldn't resist clicking on one of the JPEG files "by accident". Up pops picture of lovely young lady busily fisting herself.

Shocked Mother: "OH! Where did that come from?"
Me (spluttering with laughter): "From teh intehnet"

He has since learnt to cover his tracks when looking at teh pron...
(Wed 15th Feb 2006, 16:37, More)

» Crappy Prizes

Best Competion ever
Was when I was about 10 and me and my mate were at the local rugby club summer fair. There was a locked cabinet and a box of sawdust with a load of keys at the bottom. You paid 50p, scrabbled round in the sawdust, grabbed a key and then tried the key in the lock. My mate picked the lucky key first time and won a bottle of "pomagne" (rank fizzy cider champagne shite). He told me which key it was to look out for...and, surpise surprise, I won on my go as well! Two bottles of cheap fizzy plonk and lots of stolen lager from the bar later we were ready to take on the world.

Those were the days!
(Fri 5th Aug 2005, 9:09, More)

» Weird Traditions

Shouting at train stations
When we were kids and we went to Cornwall on holiday, everytime we drove through the town/village/place Penryn and went past the train station we would have to shout "Penryn, Self drive, drive youself". Something to do with what the train people used to shout...in the olden days...when my dad was a kid...and used to go trainspotting there...twat.
(Thu 4th Aug 2005, 9:51, More)