b3ta.com user McBollocks
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» The worst sex I ever had

Crazy Russian Girl
Well I had started dating this Russian girl who I had met in a night club a few weeks earlier. She seemed really nice, but very reluctant to get down to the dirty stuff. Only seemed to like fucking when she was drunk (maybe you need to be with me, who knows?).

Anyway, I get invited to a party in Luton (shit hole I know), and I am the only english person there.

BBQ ensues as does the plentiful flow of nasty tasting Russian Vodka. I decide to stay sober as I wasnt to pleased in being surrounded by so many crazy drunk Russians.

Anyway we are in the garden having a kiss and a cuddle with about 10 other people enjoying the BBQ. The girl I am seeing then decides she wants a good seeing to, right there right then!

I said no at least 10 times. This just seemed to spur the crazy cow on. I was swiftly told to "Shut the fuck up!" and my head was slammed to the ground and my member set free into the evening air. As you can imagine I was a little disturbed but also couldnt really do much as she had started sucking the fella. Anyway long story short, crazy Russian girl practically rapes me in front of the entire party.

But to the put the icing on the cake her fucking pervert brother had watched the whole thing and even brought me a beer over after I was done and asked "So do you like my sister?"

Russians, they are not big and they are certainly not clever!

Length? Who needs length when you can keep it going with her brother watching?
(Mon 18th Jun 2007, 13:26, More)

» Sleepwalking

Drunk sleepwalking is worse!!!
I had a heavy night with my good buddy Mr Daniels and was rather smashed by bed time, Being an 18 year old student and being at home, you tend to forget just how drunk you are when you have to worry about the property in your parents house.

Woke up in the morning and went to see a freind, Check phone to have a very nasty abusive text from my sister?

What was my crime I thought?

I later find out I had walked into her room and stood at the end of her bed, pissing all
over her GCSE art coursework.
Apparently when she screamed at me to stop, I just raised a finger to my lips and went "Shhhh".

I was not very popular to say the least!
(Thu 23rd Aug 2007, 13:11, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Kelly Osbourne
I know its wrong, but i just want to pin her down and f**k that smug grin off her fat face. Nice tits though eh?

Still wrong though!
(Thu 28th Sep 2006, 12:03, More)

» My first love

Why are people not posting more often........
I need something to get me through work. C'mon guys & gals keep me entertained.
(Tue 25th Oct 2005, 12:37, More)

» Family Holidays

Not one of the best!
Ok I was 21, in the south of France with my family and strangely my ex gf's little sister (seeing as she was freinds with my little sister and she was french)

So anyway, just split up with my gf, feeling pretty low. Had a few drinks one evening, said ex gf's younger sister asks to sleep in my room as it was not as hot as her room, I agreed and next thing you know i ended up taking her virginity! She was legal before you ask!

Next day, I feel terrible about the whole thing and end up getting drunk! Pass out on the beach and wake up to find a french lifeguard who wants to take me back to the first aid centre to make sure I am ok. I speak pretty good french but when inebriated not so good. Anyway long story short, I get glass of water think I am fine and start to make my way back to the villa we were staying in. Next thing I know I had my legs kicked away by said lifeguard who had sprinted up behind. My obvious first reaction was to twat him one! Wrong move. Turns oput he was a municiple police officer and I was charged with resisting arrest, swearing at a police officer and assaulting a police officer.

Luckily I only spent the night in a cell and got away with a 500 Euro fine which was imposed by the court (while i wasnt there I will have you know).

On the plus side, I got a letter from the home office saying I didnt have to pay it but if I go back to France I am under their law again and could be arrested.

Well I ahve been back laods since then and not been bothered once! Fucking retards!

Long and dull I am sure, but I feel better now its off my chest!
(Fri 3rd Aug 2007, 10:30, More)
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