b3ta.com user danlondonny
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» Toilets

Do showers in campsites count?
A bunch of us were camping in the New Forest. This campsite had a shower/toilet block on site, wasn't in a bad state of repair considering.

I walked in one evening for a piss and a guy was waiting outside one of the shower cubicles for his two young sons. One of them suddenly shouts "Dad, I need a poo!" fine says the dad, come out and have one. The sound of straining was heard from the cubicle, and the kid suddenly shouted "its ok Dad, I can catch it with my hands!"

The poor dad started almost tearfully hammering on the door to get the kid out before he shits in the shower. I left quickly before he dragged the shitty arsed little urchin out.

And pop goes the posting cherry!
(Sun 4th Sep 2005, 1:03, More)

» Evil Pranks

One for the smokers
Here is one that was pulled on me, that I've since passed on. Ask a smoker friend in a pub for their fag packet, as you need it for a trick, or some such excuse. Make a show of carefully pulling out all the fags and tucking them in their fingers (you don't want to get them lost or wet, obviously)and for best results, ensure they are distributed as evenly as possible between all ten fingers.

Then crush the packet and walk away...
(Mon 17th Dec 2007, 18:05, More)

» Guilty Secrets

I still love my ex....
Why is that a guilty secret you ask? well, she dumped me, and we both tried to behave all grown up about it. I did a really stupid thing and ended up going out with a mate of hers, in some daft bloody attempt to make the ex jealous. It's been a few months now, and this girl really likes me.

I'm too old to be playing silly games like this. It's got to the point now where I don't have the heart to dump her mate since I seem to make her happy.

Going to have to do it though. It's just not fair. I feel like a complete bastard, and I try not to be. oh well...
(Mon 3rd Sep 2007, 0:03, More)

» Take my Mother-in-law...

Tone Depear, I share your guilt...
I used to have the odd impure thought about my ex-MIL. She was quite foxy in her way, but its the way she used to eat bananas that did it for me. She virtually used to swallow them whole. Fascinating to watch.
(Tue 13th Sep 2005, 5:30, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

C1aybourne's post has reminded me about crappy campus sculptures..
Here at Cornell it is 'diversity week'. To celebrate this, the powers that be have installed , at great expense, a series of red arches all over campus. We are all supposed to walk under these arches which represents the diversity of the campus.

What a load of arse! its especially amusing to note that most of these have been graffited by students who object to having their (not inconsiderable) tuition fees spent on this kind of crap.
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 23:32, More)
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