» Misunderstood

Mmm tasty!
A few years ago I used to work in a cafe. I was manning the bakery when this old dear came in. She toddle up to the counter and asked me, with a completely straight face, for some semen rolls! No I had to try my hardest not to laugh in her face at the thought of what she'd just asked. I eventually worked out she wanted sesame seed rolls. the worst thing was she had absolutely no idea that what she said was wrong! She must have lived a very sheltered life!
(Mon 10th Oct 2005, 16:23, More)

» Scary Neighbours

My neighbours a vampire...
Or at least that's what we decided when we were much younger. the reasoning behind this was that we very rarely saw him out during the day but he felt the need to cut his grass in the dark with a petrol lawn mower, rather annoying if you are trying to sleep!
A few years ago his first wife disappeared. the official story is that she ran off with another woman but I'm sure she's buried in the back garden with the dog!
(Tue 30th Aug 2005, 15:50, More)

» The most cash I've ever carried

Granny trolley
I had a weekend job in a shop when I was at uni and one day quite near Christmas I ws asked to go to the bank to get change. No due to the time of year this ended up being a fair amount of money. Now 2 of us had to go together to be safe and make sure we didn't get mugged and since safety was a priority you would have thought that the mehtod used to carry the money to and from the bank would have reflected this but no we were made to take a granny shopping cart. One of those fabric things on wheel. Now 2 young girls hauling one of these behind wouldn't look suspicious and make us a target for potential muggings!
(Thu 22nd Jun 2006, 14:17, More)

» Birthdays

Best birthday was murder...
Worst birthday ever was my 18th. Instead of going out on the town and getting (legally) pissed all my friends were on holiday so I had to stay in with the parents, what fun!
My best birthday ever was my 21st. I had a murder mystery party and all the guest had to turn up in character, which they did and it was clear that some had clearly gone to a lot of effort. I will never forget the sight of my best friend's boyfreind appearing at the door with his hair in a middle parting, buck teeth (that he got specially made), a shirt with a gold bow tie, trackie bottoms and dress shoes. Stood staring at him for 5 minutes til I worked out who the hell he was!
Much alcohol was consumed so I'm not sure we ever did find out who the murderer was!
(Fri 9th Dec 2005, 12:09, More)

» Cheating cheaty cheats

piston broke
I do that too when playing cheat, put more cards down that you should but make sure the top ones are right so when people look they don't realise what you've done. This mostly works, unless you are the second person to put the cards down after someone's picked up and the person next to you is rubbish at lying! I got a whole deck of cards thrown at me for that one!
(Thu 17th Nov 2005, 12:02, More)