b3ta.com user littlesunshine
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Profile for littlesunshine:
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malevolent smartarse.

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Best answers to questions:

» Toilets

Toilet training trauma
Me - 6 years old. Little sister - just turned 3. Big sister takes little sister to loo, balances brat on seat, wanders off down hallway to avoid proximity to tinkling toddler.

Cue humongous fucking explosion, pillar of smoke and fire, siren screams from little sis. Had I fed her jalapeno salsa? Had the IRA hidden bombs down the U-bend? No. We lived 3 miles from the Flixborough chemical plant, and it had just blown up. (www.hse.gov.uk/comah/sragtech/caseflixboroug74.htm)

Little sis was fine once Mum fished her out and dosed her with sweeties, but I was terrified of toilets for years thanks to that, and thanks to the bloody Goodies too - they had an episode with a toilet trundling round snapping its lid at people. Way to further traumatise me, Graeme, Tim and Bill! Cheers!

There goes my cherry - bet you'll miss it more than I will.
(Sat 3rd Sep 2005, 10:26, More)

» Missing body parts

Half my colon
Taken out when I was 15 due to it trying to kill me (Crohn's disease - shedloads of ulcers).

I like to imagine it's crawling through the drains under the hospital to this day, occasionally zooming out to strangle a nurse.
(Thu 1st Jun 2006, 23:33, More)

» Other people's diaries

I accidentally read
The Necronomicon.

Sorry about the glabrous tentacly things devouring the souls and ravaging the bodies of all humanity, it's my fault if anyone wondered.

IƤ Shub-Niggurath, whose length is sliding under your door as you read this!
(Fri 2nd Feb 2007, 11:53, More)

» Body Mods

Bitterest disappointment of my life
I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. With an arrow. By Friar Tuck. (School play - I was Little John.)

The scar disappeared after a few months. I was so disappointed. I WANTED A COOL ARROW SCAR GODDAMMIT!
(Fri 1st Dec 2006, 9:07, More)

» Beautiful but Bonkers

This explains a lot
I don't go in for emotional abuse, screaming like a harpy or week-long crying jags when I don't get my way. Neither do I demand timesheets of what boyfriends are doing when they're not with me, regard it as an offence against my human rights when they see their mates instead of me, nor do I screw other people.

No wonder no-one wants to go out with me. Perhaps they think I don't care. Or maybe I'm just boring.
(Sun 19th Nov 2006, 19:52, More)
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