» Toilets

Dog's Dinner
I was at a party hosted by a friend of my bf at the time, Ben, whose parents were away for the evening. Several hours later, feeling very loved up and frisky, me and bf decide to indulge in a bit of rampantness in the toilet, as all the bedrooms were occupied. Afterwards, he goes to dispose of the condom and we discover there is no bin in there.. so, against all advice kindly provided on the durex information leaflet, we decide to try and flush it down the toilet. Three flushes later and it's still there, maddenly buoyant as my bf has tied a knot in the end, trapping some air and unwittingly creating a sort of miniature inflatable toilet raft.
We look at each other, giggling, and i say, fuck it, no one will know it was us. We make a hasty exit and think nothing more of it.
The next day, a slightly bemused Ben tells us that his mum had taken their evil little Jack Russell for a walk that day, only to witness the disturbing sight of a (slightly shrivelled) condom protruding from the dog's anus, which it then proceeded to shit out onto the pavement.
The little bastard had only gone and eaten the condom right out of the toilet. Eeeeuw.
(Wed 7th Sep 2005, 19:33, More)