b3ta.com user Lapin
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Profile for Lapin:
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I've been lurking here for ages, but never had a copy of photoshop to call my own. Once I stop sobbing, I'll crawl back under my rock and stop bothering you all.

Why not go here to see a lovely website promoting my exciting club night in Nottingham? Probably because it's shit, and I'm in a bad Wednesday mood.

Update: I've posted two pictures now, both of which were rubbish. Hats off!

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» My Wanking Disasters

Man's best friend.
Last summer, I went for a drink with a friend who I had a slight crush on (ok, so I was very into her, but it looked like no dice, so...). We went to a couple of bars, me trying to appear cool and suave in order to keep alive what little hope I had of pulling her, while she sipped her drink quietly. Casual chat ensues until...

Her: I once walked in on my ex wanking a dog.
Me: What the fuck!?! Etc. etc. (Takes calming gulp of beer)
Her: It's ok, he didn't finish it off.
Me: Pffffffffffffffffffffft! (Beer leaves mouth, finds it's way, via the gift of uncontrollable reflex gobbing, onto my companion's lap.)

Strangely, that wasn't the end of the night. Actually, I suppose it's not so strange when you consider that the reason she broke up with her ex wasn't anything to do with his prediliction for canine frottage.

Apologies for length (somehow, an appropriate apology for this question, fnar fnar).
(Tue 1st Jun 2004, 18:15, More)

» Old People Talk Bollocks

Anti semitic great aunt fun
My great aunt would, after doling out the usual old person pound to her grandkids, ask what we were going to spend it on. My brother would reply 'Sweets', to which the great aunt would 'You have a sweet tooth, like a darky!'. I would reply 'I'm saving for something', eliciting the response 'Not all the Jews are in Jerusalem, are they?'.

Sour old hag. Her racism was made worse by the fact that she had a relationship with an Indian doctor in WWII, so she really has no leg to stand on.
(Fri 12th Mar 2004, 15:37, More)

» Slang Survey

Cubist: to mean fucked up ugly
As in "Fucking hell, she's a bit cubist". Get meh?
(Tue 3rd Feb 2004, 16:45, More)

» Slang Survey

Two inspired by my ex housemate
Born with a silver hockey stick in your mouth: posh bird, rah rah, and all that.

Liasons strangereuse: when one night stands go bad.
(Mon 2nd Feb 2004, 17:33, More)

» Slang Survey

Not the most exciting thing but...
Thanks to Nottingham accented scallies, and Pitman, it has become the normal thing for a lot of people in Notts to have this conversation rather than say hello:

a) Easy. Y'get meh?
b) You don't even know meh!
a) You don't know meh, but you so want to be meh!
b) y'get meh? Proper.

This can go round for hours until someone gets bored. Needless to say, everyone I've heard use this (me included) is from outside Nottingham, and wouldn't go into St Annes for love nor money...
(Mon 2nd Feb 2004, 16:51, More)
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