b3ta.com user LemonEntryMyDearWatson
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» Impulse buys

A pearoast for me
But a while ago I bought 400 self adhesive goggly eyes from ebay one lunchtime, on an impulse, and gave everything on my desk pairs of beady eyes.

They've nearly all gone now. I began to get a bit paranoid after a while, with a feeling that something, somewhere, was watching me.

I can see youcfb
(Thu 21st May 2009, 12:55, More)

» IT Support

If a user told you they could only send emails to people that lived within 500 miles, and emails to people who lived further away
got rejected, you'd probably think they were crazy.

Not so, amazingly. www.ibiblio.org/harris/500milemail.html?

Sorry, no knob jokes - it's more interesting than funny.
(Thu 24th Sep 2009, 14:38, More)

» Workplace Boredom

Zumf's post down there reminded me of this..
A while ago, bored at work, I ordered a pack of stick on, goggly eyes from ebay. When they arrived, I went round my desk giving everything eyes:
We're watching you!CFB!
(Thu 15th Jan 2009, 8:43, More)

» Pointless Experiments

Still makes my nose smart thinking back to this..
...when I was but knee high to a fatman, and trips to pub with my folks were a chance for me to get hyper on lemon & limeadeplay british bulldog 1-2-3 and get up to general mischief.

Sitting down with my half pint of fizzy, green e-numbers, I remember thinking that it surely was a coincidence that my fizzy drink had arrived with not one, but two stripey straws in it, and that I had not one, but two nostrils. Surely this was a sign that I should try drinking through my nose? Well, that's how I read the situation. So try I did. Jamming both straws firmly up my snout, I breathed out through my mouth. Paused. Took a massive snort of fizzy, green pain.

Fuck me!

Imagine the pain of 5 angry bastards, who having climbed up your nose, begin making a determined efford to tunnel into both your brain, and out through your eyeballs, using rusty hatchets. I pissed a gallon of water out of my eyes, I couldn't see, and my nose almost exploded.

Nose candy? Just say no, kids.
(Thu 24th Jul 2008, 14:19, More)

» Gambling

Just the other day I placed my first wager on a horse race
£100 on Flippetigibbet.

I was watching the race on tenterhooks, the horse being a hot favourite and recommended by a friend in the know.

My horse came in at 20 to 1! Unfuckingbelievable!

Unfortunately, the other horses came in at 12:35

(Thu 7th May 2009, 21:19, More)
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