» Foot in Mouth Syndrome II

Love is...
I'd been married to my first wife for about a month or so when her mum died of cancer.

Even though we were newlyweds, it wasn't the happiest of times, of course, and she really struggled to get through it. So, to bring a little bit of cheer to my wife's life, I cooked a really nice meal at home. She appreciated it, but still couldn't shake off this gloom - not even for a night.

We were both clearing up in the kitchen after the meal and the shell of the watermelon I'd served as part of the meal was sitting on the worktop.

In an impromptu attempt to make her laugh at my stupidity, I put it on my head, like a helmet, and shouted "Oh no, I've got a melon-oma!".

I hung my head in shame the second I realised what I'd said and she ran off upstairs in tears, leaving me to finish the clearing up, alone.
(Mon 20th Aug 2012, 1:04, More)

» Road Trip

Euro 2004
During Euro 2004 a friend, Nick, and I fancied going to Portugal to watch England fail to win. Then, we had this great, drunken, idea - instead of going to the country that the tournament was in, we would go to each country that England were playing in the tournament and watch the games there.
We flew to Nice to watch England take the lead against France with 5 minutes to go, only to lose 2-1, in a French bar with the French. We then flew to Geneva to watch England beat Switzerland at a big screen at the Stade De Geneve. We then got a train through italy, stopping off in Milan to watch Italy draw against Sweden in a pub full of Italians who all went home on the final whistle. We then continued the train journey to Ancona and a ferry to Split to watch England hump Croatia.
We then had a wait to see who we would play in the quarter finals. we could have got Spain, Greece or Russia and we had our routes planned out, We ended up with Portugal and we decided to hire a car and drive from Croatia, through Slovenia, Italy, France and Spain - 3000km in 48 hours - arriving in Oporto 45 minutes before kick off.

We were delighted with the result.

Jamie.
(Wed 20th Jul 2011, 23:37, More)

» Starting something you couldn't finish

Building a pond
When I was about 14, I spent 2-3 months convincing my mum to let me build a pond in the back garden. She eventually relented.
There were some council houses being refurbished nearby, so my cousin and I filled the shed up with 'borrowed' bricks that I would need for my extensive design. I ripped up the rockery and dug up the whole lawn - this was going to be one hell of a pond. I got about 6 inches down, when I found what looked like a bed frame buried in the soil. It was really difficult to get out, so I just left it and gave up on the idea. My mum eventually had the garden slabbed over 4 years later and my dad never got his bike out of the shed again. Jamie Regan, Dunbar.
(Sun 27th Jun 2010, 22:09, More)