b3ta.com user monicalaroux
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» Useless advice

bitch aunt
Having burnt my hand on some mega-hot thing or other, my super lovely auntie helpfully advised me to run it under the tap. not the cold tap, the hot one; at full heat. that way, the heat from the burn gets cancelled out by the heat from the tap.

it hurt a lot. i flushed her driving license down the toilet in a revenge attack.
(Fri 20th Oct 2006, 16:28, More)

» When Animals Attack

lambing season versus collie army
was walking across a moor full of sheep the other day with my 3 border collies, all on leads, when a tiny wee lamb decided to charge us repeatedly, baaaing its little heart out. cue myself trying to keep my three wolfs from eating the sheep whilst also trying to persuade the lamb to fuck right off. it ended with the dogs completely terrified and a gloating lamb smirking at us from afar.lambs is evil.
(Fri 25th Apr 2008, 14:39, More)