b3ta.com user McBadger
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I'm Andy, I'm 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32......... fuck it, I'm39!!.

Recent front page messages:

I'd totally watch this

(Thu 4th Feb 2010, 1:22, More)

might be cheeky and pea

(Thu 28th May 2009, 20:59, More)


Click for youtubey with sound :D

(Sun 12th Apr 2009, 1:11, More)

stop that!

(Tue 31st Mar 2009, 0:03, More)

nurr prrrbsspbbbfrrrmpf *raspbrrrs*

wheey! Thanks loves : D
(Tue 27th Jan 2009, 2:40, More)

Pesky buggers

'edit' cor, lovely comments :D:D
'double edit' wowee, you're all lovely!!
(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 16:10, More)

cleen yer windahs mister?

'edit' blimey, you lot are too kind!! *glees*
(Sat 15th Sep 2007, 18:50, More)

Best answers to questions:

» I hurt my rude bits

Not me, but still painful
My mate (who shall remain unnamed) is a bit of a deviant so and so, and has done a few odd things (self-genital-piercing is one) but the best has to be this one time when we were all at his house. He snuck off for a few and after a few minutes we heard an almighty yelp and shouts of "I can't get it out, I can't get it out!!".

Said friend had his chappie stuck in a typewriter. Asked what he was doing, he said "I was trying to type my name on it..."

Several hours and a trip to A&E later, and we're back in party mode. He'll never live that down though.
(Fri 14th Jul 2006, 10:12, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

Money money money
I once found a £20 note poking out of a cash machine. I say found, I had to first deck the old lady who was withdrawing it... I say deck, it was more of a 'beat to a pulp' sort of situation. Mind you, saying that I did have to kill her. Well, mutilate and have sex with.... oh wait, yeah money.

I found £20 once. That's my story.
(Thu 14th Sep 2006, 19:46, More)

» Encounters with Royalty

Prince Charles visited my school yonks ago
And gave an assembly on... I don't know, probably something to do with cheese. Anyway, the school was a bit rough, and one lad thought it would be hilarious to shout 'CUNT' at the top of his voice.

Charlie didn't even bat an eyelid, surprisingly, but I think the boy got expelled.
(Thu 3rd Aug 2006, 15:24, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Oh my
Alot of us used to doss about in the woods, and in various car parks (as you do) on nights when we couldn't afford/weren't old enough for the pub. Some of the highlights included:
snorting english mustard;
'borrowing' a disabled friends' morphine and losing all feeling below the waist;
rolling around in broken glass;
jumping down flights of stairs/rolling down them in trolleys;
trying to smoke catnip....

good times, all of them.
(Thu 19th Jul 2007, 18:28, More)

» Body Mods

I told how one of my friends got his willie stuck in a typewriter. This would be the same bloke...

He does all his own piercings, some of them good, some of them not so good, but the funniest effort was doing his own eyebrow. He was drunk, funnily enough, and convinced himself that he was going to go for it and made sure we were there to witness.

So he rests his head on a table in the workshop, (someones garage cum workshop style thing) and tentatively presses a thin nail against his brow, now against the table. I'll give it to him, he did it alright, there was a shit lot of blood and........ he got the nail stuck about, oh, an inch into the work surface. Cue all of us laughing as he's stuck to the table, bleeding everywhere trying to pull a nail out without a) taking out his eye, or b) ripping a lump of skin out.

We got the nail out for him, he put in his new bit of metal, and unsurprisingly, it got infected and had to be removed.
(Fri 1st Dec 2006, 14:52, More)
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