» Worst Nicknames Ever

Crap
My old grandad Quentin Orrison Twat (pronounced thwait) Wellington or QOTW for short is being a bit crap this week, taken a turn for the worst. Maybe next week he will feel better and be a bit more entertaining.
(Tue 23rd May 2006, 20:38, More)

» Missing body parts

I loose blood from time to time.
Nothing spectacular but it emerges from underneath my right eye. A little disconcerting for me and a nightmare for anyone else.
See the blood wells up and comes round the side of the eye too and it looks a little like it is going to fall out.

I think its cool, though I might be having a brain hemorrhage or something nasty.
(Wed 7th Jun 2006, 14:03, More)

» Cheating cheaty cheats

The Nice People at Burger King
Sister ALWAYS presses the things on the tops of the drinks and says the people at burger king did. Cheating the BurgerKing people out of the respect they deserve. When I point this out to her she gets in a huge stress and then realises she has lost, changes tack and goes with "its only a lid"

bah
(Thu 17th Nov 2005, 22:09, More)

» I hurt my rude bits

While in New York
I was traveling from our room to a friends 3 floors below. Due to the appealing lift system we went on foot down the stairs. I preformed this task in socks and being young and male it turned into a bit of a race.

As we reached the correct floor (I was leading) I slipped on the bottom stair, rotated 90 degrees in the air and landed one butt cheek on the last step, one on the floor below. After getting up and collecting my thoughts there was a distinct stretched and torn feeling in my ares.

My arse hurt for a good few days, a problem made worse by 8 hours of walking a day.
(Thu 13th Jul 2006, 22:16, More)

» Child Labour

Work Experience
Y10, Work Experience, didn't get a penny...

All i got to do was repair airliners, switch engines, piss about with jet fuel and drive aircraft across Stansted Airport...

Bastards
(Wed 22nd Feb 2006, 21:34, More)