b3ta.com user surak
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» Addicted

I am addicted to steal crappy stuff while drunk on the streets.

Thing include, but are not limited to:

- A black cocker spaniel, that I called "There you are, once"
- A bicycle from barcelona's public transportation system (bicing.com)
- A samsonite luggage, 1 meter high.
- A sony tv. 29". Still works.
- Three refrigerators. One is chilling my beer right now.
- Two matresses for 2 people, one for one person, an iron bed, and an Ikea bed for 2.
- A tombstone. Never knew where it came from.
- A jacket. My friend is using it.
- A grunge shirt, from a beggar in san francisco.
- A vw's clutch, to fry shrimp. It did make sense at the time,
- Two chickens, in curitiba, brazil. Some biker's father did an amazing soup.
- The Kozmik Blues trumpetman's bike. He was VERY upset.
- A suzuki bandit 1200. I knew the gate's password, and I always left the key on it. Gave it back later.
- My school's van. Several times.
- The confession's chair in a church in ribeirão preto, brazil.
- A fucking whole tuna.
- A whalehunter boat. 30 feet. Quite didn't work (the steal, not the boat).
- Several canoes.
- A honda shadow. Woke up 150km far from where I was supposed to be.
- A christmas tree. It was july.
- A dead tree. It's five feet now, and it's beautiful!
- A barrel.
- Some traffic sign. Not the obvious ones. This had 1.60 meters and couldn't fit inside my car.
- A road sign written "Salvador de Bahia 900km". No idea how I managed to take this to my house - which was in salvador indeed. The sign had about 3 meters.
- Two human femur, and a human skull.
- One bucket full of live crabs.
- A minnie mouse hanger, where you can measure yourself, up to 1,20m. I am 1,84.
- The "yield" road sign, WITH THE POLE! No idea how I managed to carry it in my motorcycle. When I tried to throw it away, two guys were required in order to carry the whole bang.
- Drugs, from the hospital, when I was doing med school.
- A horse's saddle. I tied it to my bike, and went to some friend's house screaming HHHHHHHHHHEEEYYYYYY HORSEYY
- 50 (yea, fifty) green coconuts.
- A 9ft wide parabollic antenna. It's in my beach's house.
- 1kg of marijuana some bloke left on the school. I gave it back later (slightly lighter I confess)
- Some cow's skull. I replaced some parts of the bike with it.
- A gas' cylinder from some street food vendor. Still dunno why.
- A cone. Well, ok. The problem was that the cone had a policeman holding it. And we were at 70km/h. My friend almost broke his arm.
- Mirrors, some many mirros. One from an elevator.
- A public telephone, cashewnut-shaped.
- An ice cream from the trashbin. There was some girl who had a crush on me, so I gave her. When she went to my sister to tell her, my sister just said "throw this shit away at once! My brother would NEVER give something to anyone that wasn't from the trash!". Don't know why the girl never spoke to me again.
(Sat 20th Dec 2008, 13:49, More)

» Drunk Shopping

Apple servers.
Broken student, drinking boxed wine and eating ramen. Woke up with a call from apple: "sir, your credit card has been refused".

"Who is that?"
"It's Apple, sir. Regarding the order you made 4 hours ago". That was like 9am., so you can see when it happened.
"Hang on"

I checked my email. Turns out I bought during the night:
Five apple servers (they don't do those anymore) fully equipped;
Seven wireless printers;
Pretty much every server software they used to sell by then, and...
A webcam. A god damn cheap webcam from Logitech or whatever crap they sold at their website.
Total cost: 80 THOUSAND EUROS. My credit card would probably max out at 300, if that much. I'm glad for that.
(Mon 14th Apr 2014, 21:47, More)

» Churches, temples and holy places

There was this church inside the school...
Whose confessional was weekly used by yours truly to exercise my bowel muscles. I did not stop because they found out, but rather, some days later, when I took a bird to have a nice time around there, they left that huge pile of shit with a nice message about I now having to shit over my own shit.

Oh, and I offered some indian gods a huge vomit while wandering totally drunk in singapore. And a bottle of Tiger beer. And some pee.
(Fri 2nd Sep 2011, 17:19, More)

» Public Sex

In what is the most jammed crossroads of southern hemisphere, I have no idea how I got into the central garden.

We were shagging over the car's rooftop, wi feet over the hood, when I saw a light over my girl's face. Were the cops.

To my drunk astonishment, she got into the car in a single jump, like a ninja. Me, completely naked, went down to the ground with the cops telling me to turn over slowly.

"Show us your document", they say. Being as I dressed as I came into this world, just stared my cock and started to smile to them. After all, what else could I do?

The guys were nice, anyway. They said me to move somewhere nearby, way less public where I could keep fucking here with no problems.
(Sun 26th Apr 2009, 14:26, More)

» Creepy!

Mexican guy sleeping in a video game.
I used to have this dream, where I was in space, in a checkers-pattern infinite floor, with trees and the surrounding ground floating around, like clouds. Under one of those, there was lying a mexican guy, sleeping, the sombrero covering half his upper body.

But yet, I KNOW he's observing me. And that creeps me out. And then comes the penguins. THOUSANDS of those pesky, flightless-biting black chickens. All of them are staring at me in a scary way. And all of them are thinking, and I can hear every single thought: they all are thinking about the mexican's guy name: Gonzalezz.

I had this nightmare for years. And I found the culprit in a computer magazine from 1985: img855.imageshack.us/i/gonzalezz.jpg/
(Fri 8th Apr 2011, 15:37, More)
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