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i cant draw, cant paint and cnat spaell either, so what im doing here i dont know... can use gimp a bit, but its cut copy and paste or TOAP only. maybe i could write my name in red or blue in mspaint...

edit: red or blue?? how naive, it should be magenta of course, with a cdc attached

mainly onlinks board these days, researching the internet, so to speak.

listening to Placebo, beck, beatles, bowie, eno...dance/trance anything really, other than goth/emo/metal...

the sig is from JFK - Jim Garrison says it as he gets more caught up in his deluded conspiracy. what the film doesn't tell you, is that he was originally going to charge David Ferrie, until Ferrie died. Only then did he change to Shaw, even thought Dean Andrews had already stated he made it up.

i hope i remember to change this bit when i change my sig...

i live in leicestershire, which is as much fun as you probably think it is, but am not one of these countryside lobby pro-foxhunting tossers...

Proud Member of:


Teh /talk Insomniac Club

what OS am I??

You are Amiga OS. Ahead of your time.  You keep a lot of balls in the air.  If only your parents had given you more opportunities to suceed.
Which OS are You?

Which Nigerian Spammer am i?

You are GODFREY UGO. You are the Chairman of the Contract Debt Investigation and Payment Commission for the government of Nigeria.  You have $200 Million that you wish to give away 25%. Your business is 100% risk free.
Which Nigerian spammer are You?

what sort of hat am i?

What Sort of Hat Are You? I am a Novelty Hat.I am a Novelty Hat.

There are many sorts of novelty hat; some are genuinely funny, some are cliché and boring. I hope I am one of the genuinely funny ones, but I'm not entirely sure. I probably drink a lot. What Sort of Hat Are You?

it also said that if i wasn't a novelty hat i would be a top hat -

What Sort of Hat Are You? I am a Top-hat.I am a Top-hat.

I'm a bit of a jack-of-all-trades; creative, in a stylistic sort of way, a little vain, a little dark, perhaps a little archaic. I get on alright with people, but I can take them or leave them. What Sort of Hat Are You?

My score on The Which Famous Poet Are You Test:

Dylan Thomas!
(You scored 62 Demeanour, 63 Debauchery, 70 Traditionalism, and 70 Expression!)

Man! Do you love to party or what! If it's not fun, you probably haven't done it in a while. But that doesn't mean you're not serious about some things. You are a person with deep passions and a respect for beauty and craft. The world is a better place for having you in it. Too bad you won't be around that long. Drink up! You're masterpiece is "Under Milkwood".

Link: The Which Famous Poet Are You Test
(OkCupid Free Online Dating)

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Kids

just last year i was on holiday in portugal...
(Sat 19th Apr 2008, 1:47, More)

» Panic Buying

not last minute but
one of my sisters and me are not talking, and last year my mum and another sister gave me grief about this, saying how it was awkward and embaressing when we are all exchanging prezzies, so i should get her something. ok, i thought, but i bet she won't get me anything so its just gonna be crap. in ottakers i saw and bought for her the "book of british roundabouts". i luagheed my head off when i read it and even more when she opened it. funnier still, my dad and brother-in-law started reading it and saying "i've driven round that one, its just off the A36 nr Birmingham..." sad sad sad...
(Fri 30th Dec 2005, 16:24, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

more repeats - it's just like telly!!
insert town of choice if tamworth doesn't work for u...

a girl from tamworth pulls a guy and they are in his car and he starts fingering her. "push another couple of fingers in" she says, so he does. "push your hand into me" she says, so he does. "put your other hand in me" she says, so he does. "Now clap" she says. "I can't" he says. "Tight huh?" says the girl.

whats the definition of agony? barry sheen in a magnet factory.

whats the definition of sick? eating a bowl of rice and seeing the last one crawl away..

what do u call a woman with no legs? fanny walker

what do u call a man with no arms or legs who swims the chanel? clever dick

how do u get 4 gays on a barstool? turn it upside down

why is spunk white and piss yellow? so an irishman knows whether he is coming or going

an american, a scot and a greek were walking down the road and get killed by lightening. they reach the pearly gates and plead to be sent back, so st. pete calls god who agrees they can go back as long as they desist from their favourite things. in a flash they are back on the street. soon they come to a MacDonalds and the american, overcome with temptation, runs in, buys a big mac, takes a bite and dissapears in a puff of smoke. suitably chastened the other two walk on when the scotsman see's a coin in a crack in the pavement. overcome by temptation he bends down to pick it up and the greek disappeared.

did you hear about the blind bloke who got a cheesegrater for christmas? said it was the most violent story he'd ever read.

why does helen keller masturbate with one hand? so she can moan with the other.
(Sat 10th Dec 2005, 19:16, More)

» Dentists

hurrah - finally a qotw i can post too
i hate dentists, i have had terrible times with them, however my 2 most notable were a dentist in Battersea called Dr Bosch.. he used to get into arguments with his dental nurse all the time. Once, while in the middle of doing a filling, they had a massive row, and he said angrily to the poor girl, "you've obviously not been brought up properly." I think she cried and ran out. what a night mare position, gob full of dentistry implements and a blazing row breaks out.

The next strangest was a doctors in Whitton, nr hounslow, and when i went he said "you need quite a bit of work doing, do you not like going to the dentist?" I said, no, it gives me the fear mate, and he said, " that's ok, would you like valium?" well too fucking right mate.. so i go along for the appontment, and go in, expecting to get my valium pill, and he injects valium into my arm!!! fucking hell i was wasted... i just lay back and shut my eyes, and soon he was sitting me upright and telling me it was done. best dentist ever.. his sexy asian nurse used to have to walk me home after the effects had worn off, and one time i snogged her at the back door, and we went on a date.. we actually went to see silence of the lambs, but she was on the rebound and had issues with her ex, so nothing more happened.
(Fri 3rd Nov 2006, 1:26, More)

» The Police II

i was a yankee cop once...
I was a cop once, and my best case was this: I tried to uncover a plan to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II, who was on a state visit to the USA. My main suspect was a rich businessman who had a way of turning anyone into an unknowing assassin at the press of a remote control.

On the case, I fells in love with the businessmans's assistant. She knews nothing about his plot, but was great and really dirty in bed, and after the we spend the night together, she helped me with my investigation.
(Thu 5th May 2011, 22:25, More)
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