b3ta.com user breakfastwithjam
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» Teenage Parties

Another party
Had a house party at uni, in order to ensure numbers we invited everyone. And then they (apparently) invited everyone else. We ended up with approximately 150 people in our house, most of whom we didn't know.

Did they wreck it? Did they have sex in our beds? No. In fact they protected our stuff.

So much so, that when my mate went to get some money from his room he was stopped by a bunch of guys who thought we was stealing.

Did they believe him when he said it was his room? No.

They beat him up for stealing.
(Wed 19th Apr 2006, 10:31, More)

» Messing with the Dark Side

Phantombomber
I tried the phantombomber's suggestion - blindfold, ouija board. Lo and behold the pointer spelt gibberish.

But when I looked closely they'd spelt it with two "G"s. Then the pointer flew across the room and smashed.

Trust me to contact clumsy, dyslexic ghosts.
(Thu 20th Apr 2006, 13:25, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

Company secrets
In my previous (small) company, they fired the IT guy essentially because they were tight fisted.

The first result of the director's inept management of the IT systems was the deletion of the permissioning for the HR folders. Which led to me finding a spreadsheet listing everyone's wages.

The spreadsheet basically showed that whilst the directors were pleading poverty, their salaries had actually been increasing over the previous year whilst everyone else had been denied payrises due to "the slow nature of the market". Bastards.

I left shortly after. But not before spreading the information around a bit to cause some havoc.
(Fri 10th Feb 2006, 11:18, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

Oil change
My first car, my first oil change.

If I'd read the instructions it would have informed me that it *is* possible to overfill the oil tank.

A few minutes later I have to pull over on the A40 as I can't see due to the smoke billowing from the car engine.

On the plus side I'd made a big low-level oil cloud that sat on the road for quite some time.
(Fri 5th May 2006, 9:18, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

No user serviceable parts within
Attempting to insert additional RAM into a poorly made Middle Eastern computer, I needed to get underneath the box with those immortal words...

"Do not open - no user serviceable parts within"

Unable to release the box from its moorings, I instead decided to take it apart and reach through it.

Chip installed, I plugged my creation into the mains

*on*
*BANG*
*pfft*

The first and only time I have seen a real-live mushroom cloud (albeit only 3" across).
(Fri 5th May 2006, 12:00, More)
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