b3ta.com user w0rmwood pearl
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» Mad Stuff You've Done To Get Someone To Sleep With You

Yet another QOTW I'll have to ignore. I have no interest in reading about people lying, whining, conniving and bullying their way into people's pants, the obligitory rape jokes, and virgins being given the worst possible intoduction to sex. For fuck's sake people, think a bit less about your genitals and a bit more about not being arseholes to people, and perhaps there would be many less neurotic, fucked up women (and men) in the world.

I'm now going to answer the question I'm imagining we're being asked this week:

The fluffiest kitten I ever saw was at a cat shelter when I was 12. I wanted it ever so much, but mummy said no. Then she took me home and locked me up under the stairs.
(Fri 13th Apr 2007, 16:44, More)

» What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?

I've never done this myself, but I have had it done to me. It began with my first ever boyfriend giving me the silent treatment. When I asked him what was wrong, he muttered something about "feeling under pressure".

A day or two later we went on a night out with his friends. I didn't get in the club as I was a few weeks shy of 18, to which his response was "Oh, jolly bad luck, oh well, see you tomorrow." At the time it all seemed perfectly reasonable, but now, I, personally, would be a bit worried about a painfully naive teenage girl, making her own way home, in a strange city on a Friday night. I was shortly joined in the mile long taxi queue by Bawsack himself, who had been accused of trying to help an underager (me) into the club. He bitched and moaned all the way back to his.

In the morning, I touched on his point about being under pressure, and somehow ended up gently asking if he wanted to "finish it". He responded by breaking eye contact. We murmured some platitudes, I got dressed, kissed him on the cheek and left. So, things ended ostensibly on good terms. When I got back home however, I burst into tears as I suddenly realised that I had been used and had made a fool of myself.

It's been about four years since that happened, and I still wish that he'd had the balls to be honest with me from the start. Seeing that it was my first relationship (I had had NO interaction with the opposite sex before leaving home and only a couple of random snogs before him) the whole experience left me pretty fucked up for some time. I don't know what your situation is like, but I've found that honesty is pretty much always the best policy in relationships. If you tell a lie in order to spare someone's feelings, be prepared for them to find out or realise the truth, and be hurt ten times more than they would have been in the first place.
(Thu 5th Jun 2008, 21:49, More)

» Call Centres

I work for a "Market Research Organisation"
One morning, the team got pulled in for a briefing. The supervisor reminded us of how important it is to make sure that one hangs up after completing a call. Yesterday someone had neglected to do this, and the respondant heard themselves being called a "retard". Who "gave retarded answers".
(Thu 3rd Sep 2009, 13:25, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Hello Mr Fudgebags!
I'm also at Glasgow! The ladies' loo in the library has some gems, but my flatmate once told me a tale. He was in a cubicle, idly reading the typical "come and suck my boaby" graffiti. A chap had written that he'd like to suck a man's cock, and requested advice. This had been added. He'd written back, now asking how to find a man to suck off. "That's easy," someone had replied, "you just let them know you're here by tapping your foot."

My flatmate is a drummer.

He stopped tapping his feet.

No overexcited cottagers that time, but he was lucky...
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 18:44, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

... but if I ever wanted to I wouldn't have far to go, as there is a brothel on my street.

Me and my flatmates had heard rumours, but one of us knew for sure, (story told with his air quotes) as a friend of his had gone in one time for a "laugh". He was shown around the premises, was given some idea of prices and available wares, and then "left".

And if I was ever interested in that other sort of thing, the park about 100m from my flat is Glasgow's cottaging hotspot.

It's a shame I'm a girl really.

(First post!)
(Sun 22nd Jan 2006, 15:37, More)
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