b3ta.com user monkj
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» Sleepwalking

Nuisance phone call.
I'm not sure if I was sleepwalking or just pissed. After a night out I'd fallen asleep in front of the telly. After which I, so I have been told, phoned 999 for the fire brigade saying there was a fire. I then told them I'd put it out and proceeded to piss on the phone. I got fined £50 for making nuisance phone calls and had to buy a new phone.
(Sat 25th Aug 2007, 0:41, More)

» Cross Dressing

Camping around
On a camping trip a few years back my girlfriend and I set up the tent then went for a walk. Unfortunately I slipped on some cow shit and fell into a ditch with about 2foot of sloppy, smelly muddy water. Heading back to the camp site I went for a shower and asked my girlfriend to bring me some clean clothes, towel etc so that I didn't make the tent mucky. Luckily, as it was late october there was nobody else (apart from the wardens etc) about so she could come into the male shower block without worry. After handing me a towel she then handed me a bag with some of her clothes in. I'd only forgotten to put my bag in the car before driving the 250 miles so had none of my own clothes. As you may imagine I got some strange looks the next day (we arrived on a sunday and in them days shops weren't open on a sunday) going around York wearing a flowery skirt and purple blouse.

Although it did give us some ideas to spice up our love life.
(Wed 21st Mar 2007, 10:21, More)

» School fights

3 idiots vs the whole school
I remember a time when 3 idiots from a neighbouring school decided that they wanted a fight with someone at my school, so they came down and dinner time. All that this resulted in was the whole school chasing them through the town onto the beach (what people would have said about 500 kids running through the town i'm not sure). 2 of them then ran along the beach back to their own school but the other ran into the sea. He was in there for a long time scared to come out before the police arrived and told us all to go away.
(Sat 11th Mar 2006, 10:07, More)

» Celebrities part II

Some celebs are bone idle
Tanni Gray Thompson presented some awards at a local athletics club when I was younger. Afterwards there was a bit of a disco. I asked her too dance but she refused. Lazy bitch just sat there.
(Fri 9th Oct 2009, 17:47, More)

» Unexpected Nudity

Hospital Nudity
A friend of mine works at the local hospital. He doesn't get surprised any more when seeing naked old people in the geriatric wards wandering about as if nothing is wrong. He did get a big shock though when he heard screaming and turned to see an old bloke running naked out of the hospital with and IV drip still attached being chased by security. I just wish he hadn't told me. I now struggle to sleep.
(Fri 29th May 2009, 16:51, More)
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