b3ta.com user Spongeblunt
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Profile for Spongeblunt:
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I'm known as Deshman and I originate from the north of England. That is all.

The Detective:
A short comedy series created by my friends at Parabol Productions using footage from the original drama series 'The Prisoner'.

The Detective: Episode 0 - 'Skirevam'

The Detective: Episode 1 - 'Elasto-Plast'

The Detective: Episode 2 - 'Stretchy Bish Fist'

The Detective: Episode 3 - 'Serpent Tax Phase'

The Detective: Episode 4 - 'Emerald Bridge Party'

The Detective: Episode 5 - 'The Oily Johnny'

The Detective: Episode 6 - 'Stashmagicbox'

The Detective: Episode 7 - 'Who the fuck is Jack Burger?'

The Detective: Episode 8 - 'She Shall Knob You If He Cant..'

The Detective: Episode 9 - 'The Fatal Phallus'

The Detective: Episode 10 - 'Mento'

The Detective: Episode 11 - 'The Tree Sap Slug Bomb'

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Teenage Parties

The Ol' Party at a Random's house...
I was suddenly informed one night that an acquaintance of mine was having a ‘small party’ because the ‘rents were away. Deciding that it might be fun I drove myself and 4 mates to the home of said host to find a little bit of noise emanating from the area.

Upon walking through his gates we were greeted by a scene of utter chaos, one guy appeared to have passed out in one of those upright pole washing circles and managed to vomit all over himself and the towels on the line, another guy was quite happily drinking vodka and singing in the hedge whilst his mate was throwing a football at his face. Inside the house was where the party really seemed to be at though.

The living room had been transformed into a stage of sorts with at least two drum kits at the back end, three bass guitars and copious guitars and amps to match, this was where the noise was coming from as three drunk, talentless teens tried in desperation to make some sort of a chord. Stepping out of the room I was greeted by a guy flying down the stairs on a door into the wall followed straight up by another on a mattress.

After managing to get to the kitchen I realised they were holding an indoor BBQ, not wanting to test it for myself I moved on to see the ‘extreme trike competition’ that was being held outside; the main part of which was seeing how far you could bunny hop from the table into the back hedge, that was until someone realised you could get onto the garage roof and jump from there, raising the stakes further was the man who jumped 30ft from a tree into the hedge, luckily missing his bollocks on a fence-post by centimetres.

The neighbours decided to make an appearance after the party got seriously rowdy but were quickly abused away and had bottles thrown at their windows until they were too scared to even phone the police. Best thing was I couldn’t even drink that night, I was driving!

Never been to a crazier party since, not even as a student!

No apologies for length/girth.
(Sat 15th Apr 2006, 2:19, More)

» Rock and Roll Stories

Anger Management
Me and a few friends once made it back stage after a Raging Speedhorn gig (back in the day) and stole the crate of beer that was, as we later found out, their refreshements. Later on we were treated to a rather fat angry drummer smashing up a toilet with a sink he'd pulled from the wall because the rep refused to get him any more booze, then blaming the drummer for drinking it all!

(Thu 29th Jun 2006, 14:29, More)

» The most cash I've ever carried

Well there's a couple of occasions
The first was when working for a Bingo hall. I was asked to carry some of the takings to the bank. This bank, however, was across town and the takings were in the form of copper, silver and a large wad of notes to the tune of well over £15 000. This wouldn't have been so bad if the bags holding them weren't see-through.. Waddling across town with this baggage proved to attract the attention of the local tonwspeople, chavs. I have no idea how, but I made it to the other side of town without any trouble at all.

The second occasion was when transferring money from one bank to the another. I was informed that this could not be done electronically so was forced to creep from one bank to another, again across town, with £2000 in my pockets, sweating it the whole way.
Luckily I didn;t have any trouble then either.
(Fri 23rd Jun 2006, 0:09, More)