b3ta.com user tmozzy
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» Teenage Parties

Two stories:
One: many of my friends smoked pot. Whenever I did, a nice shade of green ensured, followed immediately by a session of upchucking. Blow backs and crumbling over yogurt worked, though, so that was nice - was/is probably the tabacco. Once fell asleep after quaffing said yogurt on a radiator. Not leaning up against it, but actually curled up on it, like a cat.
Two: I'd often save time weeing by doing it walking along, across parks, etc. so that my mates didn't have to stop, and I didn't have to catch up. At a particular friends BBQ, with them sat next to the garage eating and drinking at a picnic table, I decided it would be funny to get up onto the garage and relieve myself over them. Good times, but a lot of piss taking.

They loved the length.
(Thu 13th Apr 2006, 11:31, More)

» Airport Stories

Scrambled, or over easy?
Not mine, and credit to here: www.blacktable.com/blair060127.htm (Number 8) also not much to do with airports but it is to do with flying, and I loved it, and theblacktable is now dead, pahhh: Anyway:

"Won't say what city this was, but the day after my wedding, the night before leaving for 2 weeks to Kauai I was throwing out what ever would have spoiled in the fridge.
I pulled the last 3 eggs out of the fridge and took them out to the 11th floor balcony to smoke a joint with my cousin (my 4 a.m. ride to the airport)
We smoked the joint and decided we'd toss the eggs at cars on the street below us. I tossed one and missed a Mercedes by 10 feet. My cousin tosses his and misses a Porsche by 20 feet.
Fuck it I say and throw the last egg as far and as high in the air as I can IN NO GENERAL DIRECTION.
Out of nowhere this lady steps out of the shadows and this egg - this egg that started on the 11th floor- went as high as the 14th floor and 50 yards in distance came down in a glorious arc and landed FLAT ON THIS BITCHES FOREHEAD.
Not the top of the head. Not the side of the ear, but KAPOW - LIKE RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES AND THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE.
She went down like a sack of potatoes and I almost shit in my pants with the fear of being in jail instead of being on my honey moon.
Needless to say, everything was cool - I made it to Hawaii the entire time and had a hard dick on the entire flight."

Job.
(Sat 4th Mar 2006, 17:32, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Shout out to PS
I was into necrophilia until some rotten cunt split on me.

bye bye b3ta cherry!
(Tue 24th Jan 2006, 21:45, More)