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- a member for 18 years, 2 months and 19 days
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» Putting the Fun in Funeral
My mate got the wrong funeral
A work-mate of mine ducked off work to attend the funeral of a family friend. It turned out to be a busy day at the crematorium with three services kicking off at the same time. It was only after my mate was seated that he realised that he did not recognise a single person there - The service got under way and my mates worst fears were comfirmed, he had no idea who the departed was. Of course, rather than face the embarassment of leaving, he chose to sit through the service.
MISTAKE!
It turned out to be a bit of a trendy new age affair with the celebrant walking round with a microphone asking the assembled for their thoughts on the recent corpse. Comments such as "He lived for his family" and "He was a true friend" abounded. My mate had the mike handed to him and gave his comment - "I wish I'd known him better".
Quick thinking that, I thought.
(Mon 15th May 2006, 13:35, More)
My mate got the wrong funeral
A work-mate of mine ducked off work to attend the funeral of a family friend. It turned out to be a busy day at the crematorium with three services kicking off at the same time. It was only after my mate was seated that he realised that he did not recognise a single person there - The service got under way and my mates worst fears were comfirmed, he had no idea who the departed was. Of course, rather than face the embarassment of leaving, he chose to sit through the service.
MISTAKE!
It turned out to be a bit of a trendy new age affair with the celebrant walking round with a microphone asking the assembled for their thoughts on the recent corpse. Comments such as "He lived for his family" and "He was a true friend" abounded. My mate had the mike handed to him and gave his comment - "I wish I'd known him better".
Quick thinking that, I thought.
(Mon 15th May 2006, 13:35, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
sickness............
A recently married young lady goes to the doctor. "Doc I have nausia and a really uncomfortable bloated stomach".
"No probs" says the doc "I'll have the nurse take blood and urine samples and I'll see you next week for the results".
Next week comes around and our bride is back at the surgery.
"Well" says the quack, "I hope you're not adverse to changing nappies".
"Why" gushed the young lady excitedly "Am I pregnant"?
"No" says the doc "You have bowel cancer".
sorry
(Tue 7th Feb 2006, 11:02, More)
sickness............
A recently married young lady goes to the doctor. "Doc I have nausia and a really uncomfortable bloated stomach".
"No probs" says the doc "I'll have the nurse take blood and urine samples and I'll see you next week for the results".
Next week comes around and our bride is back at the surgery.
"Well" says the quack, "I hope you're not adverse to changing nappies".
"Why" gushed the young lady excitedly "Am I pregnant"?
"No" says the doc "You have bowel cancer".
sorry
(Tue 7th Feb 2006, 11:02, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
I remember this one from primary school.........
Did you hear about the German Evil Knievel?
He tried to jump 50 Jews in a steam roller!!
(Thu 9th Feb 2006, 12:45, More)
I remember this one from primary school.........
Did you hear about the German Evil Knievel?
He tried to jump 50 Jews in a steam roller!!
(Thu 9th Feb 2006, 12:45, More)