b3ta.com user z0mb13e
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» Devastating Put-Downs

I was a Dalek...
A former boss was taken to telling tall tales of his exploits.

At an Xmas do round the local Italian, a friend was telling us how he was loosely related to Peter Davidson (a former Dr Who), when up pipes the boss and starts telling us how he was a close personal friend of several of the Drs and how he had once been asked if he wouldn't mind playing a Dalek as they were a man short, cue me in a crappy Dalek voice saying "Exaggerate! Exaggerate!"
(Fri 25th Nov 2011, 14:03, More)

» Beautiful Moments, Part Two

Glastonbury Tor - New Years Eve - 2000
Myself and Mrs Zombie had decided not to do anything for New Years eve on the Millenium as we were feeling a bit jaded (If I remember correctly) so sat in Watching the Big Breakfast special - but both got the feeling that we should be doing something better - so on a whim and with only an few hours to go until midnight, we hopped in the car and took off, deciding where to go and what to do en route and ended up at Glastonbury. Climbed to the Tor and watched in awe as fireworks lit up the entire vally, for miles around, in every direction.

Never seen anything like it since - beautiful, breathtaking and outstanding...
(Sat 7th Aug 2010, 17:01, More)

» Workplace Boredom

Magic wandering cursor
Being sys admin for a non tech company everything pretty much ticks along except for the ocasional dim whit that hides one window behind another window and then I get the call saying their computer is broken. So for the most part I have to amuse myself for a fair proportion of the day.

I have discovered the simple pleasure of remotely messing with one particular 'hotdesk' desktop while watching the users reactions on the CCTV... all from the comfort of a web browser.

I think its time to find a new job...
(Fri 9th Jan 2009, 15:04, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Thalidomide Porn Star
Did you hear about the Thalidomide porn star?

He has an arm the size of a babys cock!
(Tue 21st Feb 2006, 15:01, More)

» Irrational Hatred

Running commentary and reading aloud.
I think I have finally thought of something that really shouldn't bother me but it does and I don't know why.

Co-workers who like to give a running commentary while they work. Like "click here, then I've just got to open this and do that" etc. Makes me want to tear their throat out.

Also co-workers who can type a sentence quietly but are unable to proof read without reading it out aloud. It takes all my self restraint not to shout "Can't you read that to yourself in your head you fucking mouth breather!". And that's with people I actually like!
(Fri 1st Apr 2011, 14:54, More)
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