Profile for ymmit:
madder than a madder hatter.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 21 years, 9 months and 9 days
- has posted 172 messages on the main board
- (of which 2 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 5 messages on the talk board
- has posted 15 messages on the links board
- (including 5 links)
- has posted 6 stories and 6 replies on question of the week
- They liked 73 pictures, 14 links, 0 talk posts, and 7 qotw answers.
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madder than a madder hatter.
Recent front page messages:
After many many years putting up with a thick tiger
Pooh retired, alcoholic, lowered to sitting on the www.ratemypoo.com webshite
(Fri 25th Oct 2002, 17:23, More)
Pooh retired, alcoholic, lowered to sitting on the www.ratemypoo.com webshite
(Fri 25th Oct 2002, 17:23, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Rubbish Towns
Goole, East Yorkshite.
Close your eyes and think, for a minute, of any port town. Felixstowe for example, or Hull, or Grimsby, maybe even Immingham.
Now take away the nice things you get in port towns, this bit may take a bit more imagination, but remove all thoughts of marinas, sailing, romance, fishing, relaxation, profitable industry, uniformed captains, rolling seas, fresh air, seabirds, fresh fish and chips, international culture etc.
You're almost there - you now need to remove anyone who earns more than 60% of the average national wage, as they'll have moved out of the town into a village, or a different town, leaving behind the poor, and the disenfranchised.
Now add all the lovely things that port towns bring - persons for whom English is a foreign language, drugs, alcohol.
Add a few rough pubs and rougher clubs filled with rough young men and rougher young women, all partaking of the widely available drugs and cheap contraband alcohol.
Getting the picture? Brillant, you've almost got a picture of Dover, now move that picture about 4 notches towards "extreme" and you've got Goole - Britain's most inland seaport.
(Sat 31st Oct 2009, 7:31, More)
Goole, East Yorkshite.
Close your eyes and think, for a minute, of any port town. Felixstowe for example, or Hull, or Grimsby, maybe even Immingham.
Now take away the nice things you get in port towns, this bit may take a bit more imagination, but remove all thoughts of marinas, sailing, romance, fishing, relaxation, profitable industry, uniformed captains, rolling seas, fresh air, seabirds, fresh fish and chips, international culture etc.
You're almost there - you now need to remove anyone who earns more than 60% of the average national wage, as they'll have moved out of the town into a village, or a different town, leaving behind the poor, and the disenfranchised.
Now add all the lovely things that port towns bring - persons for whom English is a foreign language, drugs, alcohol.
Add a few rough pubs and rougher clubs filled with rough young men and rougher young women, all partaking of the widely available drugs and cheap contraband alcohol.
Getting the picture? Brillant, you've almost got a picture of Dover, now move that picture about 4 notches towards "extreme" and you've got Goole - Britain's most inland seaport.
(Sat 31st Oct 2009, 7:31, More)
» Lurid Work Stories
empty jacket
Friend of mine is a coastguard officer. He got called out to a potential jumper off a local bridge (the Hull-Scunthorpe one, quite high, popular with depressives).
Got there to find an off duty fireman had got there first, and was stood holding an empty jacket over the edge of the railing...
(Fri 6th Sep 2013, 15:50, More)
empty jacket
Friend of mine is a coastguard officer. He got called out to a potential jumper off a local bridge (the Hull-Scunthorpe one, quite high, popular with depressives).
Got there to find an off duty fireman had got there first, and was stood holding an empty jacket over the edge of the railing...
(Fri 6th Sep 2013, 15:50, More)
» Dodgy work ethics
Receipt messages
I used to work in a shop, selling computers and related equipment (profiteroles as one of our adverts once misread...)
When we cashed up every night, after entering the totals in the till software it would, as a final question before shutdown, ask for tomorrow's "message of the day". This would be printed at the bottom of the receipt until the next end-of-day routing was run, and was for messages such as "Commodore Amigas - order now for Christmas" and "Floppy disk special - ten for £10"
At the end of one particularly stressful day, where the only things we wanted to say to our punters was "up yours" or "there are other shops where you can go and waste people's time" the owner cashed up, and then shouted loudly, "Right, after today you can all f!ck off and die", and duly typed "Fuck off and die" into the till.
Halfway through the next day a regular customer popped back into the shop with his receipt.. "did you know...."
(Mon 11th Jul 2011, 9:25, More)
Receipt messages
I used to work in a shop, selling computers and related equipment (profiteroles as one of our adverts once misread...)
When we cashed up every night, after entering the totals in the till software it would, as a final question before shutdown, ask for tomorrow's "message of the day". This would be printed at the bottom of the receipt until the next end-of-day routing was run, and was for messages such as "Commodore Amigas - order now for Christmas" and "Floppy disk special - ten for £10"
At the end of one particularly stressful day, where the only things we wanted to say to our punters was "up yours" or "there are other shops where you can go and waste people's time" the owner cashed up, and then shouted loudly, "Right, after today you can all f!ck off and die", and duly typed "Fuck off and die" into the till.
Halfway through the next day a regular customer popped back into the shop with his receipt.. "did you know...."
(Mon 11th Jul 2011, 9:25, More)
» Racist grandparents
Irony?
A japanese family moved in a few doors down from my parents many years ago. My mother told me one day
"Every time he walks by and seems me he bows his head, they do that in acknowledgement of the atrocities they committed during the war"
The irony??? I'm adopted, and oriental...
(Tue 1st Nov 2011, 7:22, More)
Irony?
A japanese family moved in a few doors down from my parents many years ago. My mother told me one day
"Every time he walks by and seems me he bows his head, they do that in acknowledgement of the atrocities they committed during the war"
The irony??? I'm adopted, and oriental...
(Tue 1st Nov 2011, 7:22, More)
» Irrational Hatred
Clubbing.
Clubbing. Does anyone really go clubbing now that animal cruelty is so much at the forefront of our minds? Moles, seals, badgers, whatever. I mean what's the point if you're not going eat the meat or wear the fur.
Oh sorry? You mean you're going out to a night club??
(Thu 31st Mar 2011, 15:58, More)
Clubbing.
Clubbing. Does anyone really go clubbing now that animal cruelty is so much at the forefront of our minds? Moles, seals, badgers, whatever. I mean what's the point if you're not going eat the meat or wear the fur.
Oh sorry? You mean you're going out to a night club??
(Thu 31st Mar 2011, 15:58, More)