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- a member for 18 years, 2 months and 14 days
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» Insults
Big Fat Curly Ball
I was walking up Northumberland Street in Newcastle in a little world of my own when I accidentally accepted a couple flyers for a crap club that I would never go to. I did the obvious thing and shoved them into the hands of the next stupid student flyerer up the street. I got about 3 paces and heard him shout "FUCK OFF YOU BIG FAT CURLY BALL" after me.
In fairness, it's actually a fairly accurate description, which made it all the funnier. Over a couple of pints with a mate later on I decided to get a t-shirt made with BIG FAT CURLY BALL on the front, and BOUNCE ME TO FIND OUT on the back.
I've still got it somewhere.
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 0:25, More)
Big Fat Curly Ball
I was walking up Northumberland Street in Newcastle in a little world of my own when I accidentally accepted a couple flyers for a crap club that I would never go to. I did the obvious thing and shoved them into the hands of the next stupid student flyerer up the street. I got about 3 paces and heard him shout "FUCK OFF YOU BIG FAT CURLY BALL" after me.
In fairness, it's actually a fairly accurate description, which made it all the funnier. Over a couple of pints with a mate later on I decided to get a t-shirt made with BIG FAT CURLY BALL on the front, and BOUNCE ME TO FIND OUT on the back.
I've still got it somewhere.
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 0:25, More)
» Conned
Another tale of alcoholic begger wreckage
Me and the same flatmate from the train saga below were having a night out in Liverpool. As you may have gathered from our inability to shake off a lonely old man who wanted nothing more than to hang out with us in the wee small hours, we're both total cowards, and hate the idea of confrontation or upsetting people. This was the reason we spent almost an hour in the surprisingly roomy gents toilets in the basement bar of an irish pub whose name I've forgotten, for fear of the woman upstairs in the main bar who was sat by the door waiting to speak to us again because she thought we were going to give her her 'bus fare home'.
The more I think about it, I've got tons of stories like this. It's all because I'm too nice to shake them off. I won't post any more though.
(Fri 19th Oct 2007, 4:25, More)
Another tale of alcoholic begger wreckage
Me and the same flatmate from the train saga below were having a night out in Liverpool. As you may have gathered from our inability to shake off a lonely old man who wanted nothing more than to hang out with us in the wee small hours, we're both total cowards, and hate the idea of confrontation or upsetting people. This was the reason we spent almost an hour in the surprisingly roomy gents toilets in the basement bar of an irish pub whose name I've forgotten, for fear of the woman upstairs in the main bar who was sat by the door waiting to speak to us again because she thought we were going to give her her 'bus fare home'.
The more I think about it, I've got tons of stories like this. It's all because I'm too nice to shake them off. I won't post any more though.
(Fri 19th Oct 2007, 4:25, More)
» Conned
Conned out of a night's sleep
One of my former flatmates in Newcastle hailed from sunny Wigan, and regularly used to get a train that leaves Newcastle for Manchester Airport at about 2 in the morning, his arguments in favour of this seemingly daft idea were that it saved wasting a day mucking about with trains and you were guaranteed a seat.
Anyway, on one of these occasions we were up drinking before he went to the station and I decided to wander down with him. At the station a drunk old man attached himself to us. He never asked for any money or anything, despite seemingly having none himself, but he wouldn't go away. As the train prepared to leave I realised that there was a very real risk this guy would follow me home. In my slightly tipsy state I decided the best course of action would be to hop on the train, off at Durham, and get a train back. (Train back at 2.30am? errr) Rather than follow me home, our new best friend followed me onto the train. The ticket man on this train never comes round before Durham cos it's full of posh, pissed Durham students so the old man got kicked off at Darlington and I had to pay for a ticket to York to avoid him.
At York (4am) it became apparent the first train back to the north was at half 6, so I had a lovely pitch dark walk round York during which I saw NOBODY, at all, not even a milkman or a cop van.
Got back to York station for my 6:30am train and guess who's there?
He must have had even more fun than I did hanging around Darlo all night till he could jump a train to York where we'd given the impression we'd meet him. I had to stop him from shoplifting a mars bar and some porn from WH Smiths and when we got on the train he started chatting up some poor business woman who was on her way up to Glasgow for a meeting. He got kicked off at Darlington again for not having a ticket or any money, and I answered the Glasgow-bound lass and her dumbstruck colleague's questioning looks by telling this story.
I got back home half an hour before I was meant to have a lecture, thought 'Fuck it' and went to bed.
The sad thing is I don't think he was a conman or a begger or anything, just a rather strange old man with no need for sleep and apparently nothing to do.
(Fri 19th Oct 2007, 4:07, More)
Conned out of a night's sleep
One of my former flatmates in Newcastle hailed from sunny Wigan, and regularly used to get a train that leaves Newcastle for Manchester Airport at about 2 in the morning, his arguments in favour of this seemingly daft idea were that it saved wasting a day mucking about with trains and you were guaranteed a seat.
Anyway, on one of these occasions we were up drinking before he went to the station and I decided to wander down with him. At the station a drunk old man attached himself to us. He never asked for any money or anything, despite seemingly having none himself, but he wouldn't go away. As the train prepared to leave I realised that there was a very real risk this guy would follow me home. In my slightly tipsy state I decided the best course of action would be to hop on the train, off at Durham, and get a train back. (Train back at 2.30am? errr) Rather than follow me home, our new best friend followed me onto the train. The ticket man on this train never comes round before Durham cos it's full of posh, pissed Durham students so the old man got kicked off at Darlington and I had to pay for a ticket to York to avoid him.
At York (4am) it became apparent the first train back to the north was at half 6, so I had a lovely pitch dark walk round York during which I saw NOBODY, at all, not even a milkman or a cop van.
Got back to York station for my 6:30am train and guess who's there?
He must have had even more fun than I did hanging around Darlo all night till he could jump a train to York where we'd given the impression we'd meet him. I had to stop him from shoplifting a mars bar and some porn from WH Smiths and when we got on the train he started chatting up some poor business woman who was on her way up to Glasgow for a meeting. He got kicked off at Darlington again for not having a ticket or any money, and I answered the Glasgow-bound lass and her dumbstruck colleague's questioning looks by telling this story.
I got back home half an hour before I was meant to have a lecture, thought 'Fuck it' and went to bed.
The sad thing is I don't think he was a conman or a begger or anything, just a rather strange old man with no need for sleep and apparently nothing to do.
(Fri 19th Oct 2007, 4:07, More)
» Insults
Spontaneous filth
I just got a funny look for using the spontaneous insult:
"cock-badgering ICANN bastards"
(icann being the idiots who seem to have made up a new rule saying you can't have a two-letter domain name).
My mate had time to think about it a bit and came up with "icant more like!" (Oh, the eloquence)
Length? 7 characters if I could have [email protected] as my email address, but no!
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 15:21, More)
Spontaneous filth
I just got a funny look for using the spontaneous insult:
"cock-badgering ICANN bastards"
(icann being the idiots who seem to have made up a new rule saying you can't have a two-letter domain name).
My mate had time to think about it a bit and came up with "icant more like!" (Oh, the eloquence)
Length? 7 characters if I could have [email protected] as my email address, but no!
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 15:21, More)