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This is a question Conned

swiftyisNOTevil writes, "I have recently become obsessed with the BBC Three show 'The Real Hustle' - personally, I think of it as a 'How To' show for aspiring con artists."

Have you carried out a successful con? Perhaps you hustled a few quid off a stranger, or defrauded a multi-national company. Or have you been taken for the wide-eyed, naive rube that you are?

(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 13:02)
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Conned out of a night's sleep
One of my former flatmates in Newcastle hailed from sunny Wigan, and regularly used to get a train that leaves Newcastle for Manchester Airport at about 2 in the morning, his arguments in favour of this seemingly daft idea were that it saved wasting a day mucking about with trains and you were guaranteed a seat.

Anyway, on one of these occasions we were up drinking before he went to the station and I decided to wander down with him. At the station a drunk old man attached himself to us. He never asked for any money or anything, despite seemingly having none himself, but he wouldn't go away. As the train prepared to leave I realised that there was a very real risk this guy would follow me home. In my slightly tipsy state I decided the best course of action would be to hop on the train, off at Durham, and get a train back. (Train back at 2.30am? errr) Rather than follow me home, our new best friend followed me onto the train. The ticket man on this train never comes round before Durham cos it's full of posh, pissed Durham students so the old man got kicked off at Darlington and I had to pay for a ticket to York to avoid him.

At York (4am) it became apparent the first train back to the north was at half 6, so I had a lovely pitch dark walk round York during which I saw NOBODY, at all, not even a milkman or a cop van.

Got back to York station for my 6:30am train and guess who's there?

He must have had even more fun than I did hanging around Darlo all night till he could jump a train to York where we'd given the impression we'd meet him. I had to stop him from shoplifting a mars bar and some porn from WH Smiths and when we got on the train he started chatting up some poor business woman who was on her way up to Glasgow for a meeting. He got kicked off at Darlington again for not having a ticket or any money, and I answered the Glasgow-bound lass and her dumbstruck colleague's questioning looks by telling this story.

I got back home half an hour before I was meant to have a lecture, thought 'Fuck it' and went to bed.

The sad thing is I don't think he was a conman or a begger or anything, just a rather strange old man with no need for sleep and apparently nothing to do.
(, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 4:07, Reply)

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