» Pet Stories

Could you come with me please sir?......
FOAF who is a landscape gardener driving his Land Rover through suburban streets on his way home one summers evening a white cat bolts out from between two parked cars and BAMM nothing he could do hits it, he propmptly slams on his brakes and has a look to see what the damage is, when he walks round to the parked cars and see's an unconscious but breathing white cat laying on the pavement he decides that he can't leave a helpless animal to die slowly so does nothing more than grab a spade from the back of the landy and smashes the moggys head in to put it out of its misery (noble sentiments I hear you say) then chucks it in a sack and goes home to bury the unfortunate puss.
Fast forward about an hour and there's a knock at the door, he opens it to find 2 coppers and a frought pensioner on his door step....
Turns out that said old lady had a white cat that enjoyed basking on the hot pavement during the summer days just like this one when a big burly brute come along and bashed kittys head in, guy explains what happened from his point of view and the cops take him outside to his landy and on closer inspection find a flat cat between grill and radiator. Oooops ; )
(Tue 12th Jun 2007, 10:28, More)

» Rock and Roll Stories

Donnington 1995
First open air gig went to see Metallica and other assorted heavyness one of our number, Jason decided to swan off into the Slayer mosh pit for the duration of their set he returns 35 mins later face completely covered (hair line to t-shirt) in blood. Wierd thing was none of it was his!
If that aint rock n roll I'm not Ginger!!

Have Fun

Wom
(Tue 4th Jul 2006, 10:31, More)

» Festivals

Big Day Out '99
I'm a massive Metallica fan so the moment I heard they were playin that year tickets were rapidly purchased.

So off me and a mate toddle to the depression in the countryside known as the Milton Keynes Bowl and a thoroughly good day was had by all, well when I say all there was an exception that springs to mind.
Firstly the rock festival tradition of human pyramids, the one performed on this day was one of the highest I've seen in over 15 years of festivalling for those that haven't seen this beautiful monstrosity think a rugby scum turned on its end (in this case both in height and constituent parts) this was made all the more impressive by the fact that the ground is at a 40 degree angle!!

So this things about 25 feet high and all around are pleasantly high/pissed and are enjoying the feat then a young girl I can only describe as slight (it would've taken 5 of her to make one of the monsters in the pyramid) she then proceeds to scale the outside of the structure all the way to the top then raises her hands in triumph and falls head first to the ground below.

The Paramedics were quick to arrive as they could see the pyramid from quite a way away so a pile of bodies descends on her and 20 mins later she emerges cling-filmed to a spinal board never saw or heard what happened to her after that but let that be a warning kids when there's a lot of booze and drugs around ignore there person who says the words "I've got a great idea" in my experience it usually ends up in A&E
(Sun 7th Jun 2009, 17:17, More)

» Airport Stories

On holiday...
at Malaga Airport with one of my more homophobic mates he was "Cupped" by the customs guy frisking him, Cue me and my other mate carrying him by the elbows and sitting on him till he calmed down the customs bloke doesn't know quite how close to death he came that day...

'POP' there goes the Cherry
(Mon 6th Mar 2006, 12:51, More)

» The Soundtrack of your Life

A number of songs and their reasons
Odd fumble song - Replica by Fear Factory, nearly put my back out trying to keep up with that beat.
Stopped me topping myself songs (I wont bore you with the details) - Reign in Blood by Slayer and anything off the 1st 5 Metallica albums, the power of those song kicked my up the arse when I needed it most.
Special place in my heart song - Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, The first dance at my wedding to the most wonderful person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting I love you babe.

Apologies for Soppyness but that's love for ya ;) !

TTFN
(Fri 29th Jan 2010, 15:09, More)