b3ta.com user Dwarfsmuggler
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» Vandalism

My favorite Joke
Think I've posted about this before as a reply but I'll post it again as it's great. My friend was in a cubical at the London College of Speech and Drama when he saw this little gem on the wall.

How many Fucks does it take to shit a cunt?

Three, one to shit the cunt and the others to wipe the fuckpiss off my spastic.

Whoever wrote that is a god
(Fri 8th Oct 2010, 10:19, More)

» Annoying words and phrases

I really hate the phrase
"No you can't watch the football, dancing on ice is on"
(Thu 8th Apr 2010, 14:18, More)

» Good Advice

How to stop burglars
If you are ever woken up by a noise that you think could be an intruder there are 2 things that you need, 1. A rounder's bat, 2. A pair of Anne Summers Crocodile underpants.


Picture the scene, you're lying in bed when you hear a noise coming from downstairs, the first thing you must do is put on your crocodile underwire so that your old chap is in the nose portion of the garment, now grab your rounder's bat and head downstairs. 99.99% of the time there won't be anyone down there, or if anyone was there just hearing you wake up would have been enough to make them scarper, there is however a 0.01% chance that you could interrupt an intruder and on these occasions you must do as follows. As soon as you see the intruder you must start windmilling you cock as fast as you can, this should confuse the intruder so much that you should buy enough time to hit them as hard as you humanly can in the head. Once the intruder is knocked out sit on him and call the police.

If you are a lady i'd advise nipple tassles or a strap on

This is more of a theory than advice, so I take no responsibility if it doesn't work.
(Tue 25th May 2010, 15:59, More)

» Redundant technology

I sometimes use my right hand
Even though I have a girl to play with
(Thu 4th Nov 2010, 15:01, More)

» The B3TA Confessional

Dear any company I've ever worked for
I've wanked in every male toilet in your building. It's a challenge I set myself very early in my working life and I'm proud of it.
(Fri 27th Aug 2010, 15:02, More)
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