b3ta.com user bane
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» Advice from Old People

Pearl of wisdom from my Gran
Said to me as a young lad embarking on a night out with a new girlfriend..."Old people are just young people that have been doing it longer" followed by a wink.
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 21:00, More)

» Iffy crushes

The one in a wheelchair
from Balamory
(Thu 6th Oct 2011, 16:42, More)

» Things to do before you die

Natalie Imbruglia,
in fact I wouldn't be too unhappy if she caused my sudden and untimely death.

Although not by jumping out of the wardrobe and shouting BOO!
(Thu 14th Oct 2010, 15:43, More)

» The B3TA Confessional

My confession is of a religious bent
As a small boy attending a Catholic primary school,we often had to endure a weekly mass in the school hall.On this particular occasion I was asked to fetch the box of communion wafers from the school office to give to the Christian Brother who was giving mass. On the way back to the hall I opened the box and quaffed about half of the contents.The Christian brother weighed the box in his hands and gave me a quizzical look and went about his holy business of blessing them or whatever they do.
As I recall ,there wasn't enough to go around for the whole school.
FYI They tasted like flying saucers without the smashing sherbet bit.
I've subsequently carried out far more heinous crimes that have assured my seat on the hell bus.
(Thu 26th Aug 2010, 13:57, More)

» Good Advice

Never take
a non stick spatula to a gun fight.
(Thu 20th May 2010, 23:22, More)
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