b3ta.com user suboftheday
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» Tightwads

sandwich run
less stingy, more theiving.
a friend of mine who works as a maintainance engineer was telling me about one of his ex-co-workers.
this guy took it upon himself one day to take sandwich orders (and money) from everyone and go to the butty shop down the road with the order.
nice chap hes doing everyone a favour out of the goodness of his heart.

only one day someone was late in, missed the sandwich order and so had to go to the shop himself. orders his sandwich and hands over his 3 and is then astonished to receive change as this is the price he's been paying for the last 8 years when the guy set up the order.
he asks for a full price list from the shop and asks round to check its not just him being screwed over. but it turned out that for the last 10 years this guy has been screwing his coleagues out of an extra 20-30p a day.
granted this doesnt sound like a lot but 30p x 15 people = 4.50 a day/22 a week/1170 a year! and he'd been doing it for 10 years!
i'm sure it would have been fine if he was open about his little fee and nobody would have kicked up a fuss but to have the cheek to take 20-30p off your 'friends'(and boss too) without telling them for so long.

he was suspended and advised to resign after that.
(Sun 26th Oct 2008, 18:58, More)

» Stupid Dares

gay chicken
i think theres a few gay chicken stories here

me and a friend when playing gay chicken would always both pull out at the same time, usually around half an inch away our eyes would meet and we'd both bottle it. untill 1 night when we were both shitfaced and we both won/lost.

didnt find out about it for 2 days till a mate said "do you remember getting off with james?"
me:"no"
mate:"you were at it for a good few minutes"
me"well at least we both pulled"


i had a theory that we were that shitfaced neither of us knew whose throat we had our tongues down and being hetrosexual males we both assumed we were kissing girls.
neither of us remembers this so....
(Thu 1st Nov 2007, 17:51, More)

» Going Too Far

party
i was at a party last yearwith some uni friends, and there were a bunch of germans there that were the biggest bunch of wankers i've ever met.
heres the cov

german: are you gay?
me: no, why?
german: in germany you have a gay haircut.
me: are you gay?
german: no why?
me: in england you have a gay nationality.

needles to say i was whisked away before i got battered, but on ym next visit to the toilet,
i pissed in the shampoos
pissed on all the toothbrushes (and in the holder)
pissed on a razor
put a full loo roll in the cistern
and pissed on the soap dispenser.

i woke up thinking that maybe i went a bit too far, this has remained a secret till today.
(Mon 13th Nov 2006, 23:56, More)

» We have to talk

dumped
without reading the existing stories i'm gonna guess they are mostly about being dumped.

she was my first proper girlfriend and she rang me saying "we need to talk.. can you meet me at...?"
at first i was kindof naive and wondered what she wanted to talk about. then it dawned on me.
i rang my bezzie mate and told him i was about to be dumped. so he rang her and shouted at her. what a legend

but i went and met her anyway as she wanted me to meet her at the shop at the end of my road, i went in the shop, bought some crisps and a big bottle of coke(i was 15) and said "i know what your gonna say so dont even bother saying it.. bye" then went home. she didnt bother saying anything.
(Fri 20th Apr 2007, 11:50, More)

» Social Networking Gaffes

i'll get my coat ready shell i
my brother set up a small internet cafe in brighton called seashell net.
but had to relocate to Woking to be nearer his kids after a nasty divorce.
so upon visiting him last summer i asked how business was compared to brighton.
he said he's have to look at the
SEASHELLNET, WOKING GRAPHS.

we're gonna need a bigger coat.
(Tue 16th Sep 2008, 18:14, More)
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