b3ta.com user tehmattmonster
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Hulloes! I'm Matt and I mostly lurk, occasional crappy MSpaint Compo entries and some QOTWs anyway, meh, catch you on the board sometime.

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» Awesome teachers

I have been playing drums for well over 16 years.
My obsession with percussion began in the first year of secondary school, after listening to the school's jazz band for the first time during one of the many long and boring assemblies. My immediate thoughts were; "Wow" we have a Jazz band?" and seeing as the drummer was more of the rock ilk, those drums are loud, I want to learn how to play like that! So after the assembly, I went to the music department and spoke to Mr. Ward, who is coincidentally one of the best music teachers on the planet in my humble opinion!
I stated my intention to learn drums and asked how to go about getting lessons.
I was told that lessons were extra curricular and they had an outside teacher that would visit once a week to teach pupils privately that wanted to learn how to play. He suggested that I go and speak to him. I did and he explained that my parents would have to pay for lessons, so I asked them, fortunately for me, they said yes.

The day of my first lesson arrives, I head up to the classroom and I am asked what I know about drums. My shaky reply; "Nothing, sir".
The teacher laughs and says "That's ok, please, call me Ric."
So he takes the snare drum and the floor tom and moves them away from the rest of the drums and starts to teach me the basic rudiments that make up drumming. He explains how to hold the sticks, what each drum and cymbal is called and how its used. He pops a sheet of music in front of me and explains what the differences between quavers, semi-quavers and the basics of drum notation, what the different lines on the staff represent and so on...

This continues and after a Term, I am playing grade one pieces of music. This takes hours and hours of practise, me constantly dropping sticks and missing beats, I was not a natural by any stretch of the imagination, but Ric was awesome, patient and never got huffy when something didn't go right.
The time comes for payment and Ric says that a cheque from my Mum would be fine. So I pop home with the invoice and give it to my Mum. She then opens the letter and calls me into the front room where she said to me rather excitedly, "Do you know who your drum teacher is?"
I reply, "Sure, he's Ric".
Mum: "He's actually quite famous. I'm not sure if you realise but he used to play in a band called Ten Years After. Your drum teacher is Ric Lee!"

So in essence I was tought my craft by one of the best and most underrated drummers on the planet: www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ocSbQlDUK4
If only I knew who he was at the tender age of 11, maybe I'd have paid more attention and been able to play better than I do now!

Apologies for length, approx 16", one in each hand...
(Wed 23rd Mar 2011, 10:26, More)

» Redundant technology

A perfect subject for my return!
Having lurked away in the depths for so long, I feel that I should come out of retirement and embrace B3ta once again.
I am such a hoarder of technology, both old and new!
I don’t really know where to begin, everything is such a mish-mash of old and new.
I suppose the best place to start would be the study (or man-zone as my better half calls it)!
Currently I have an old IBM keyboard with the really clicky keys that sound like a cacophony of arthritics bus passengers falling off the top deck, when typing at full speed. This is connected to a KVM and no less than four fairly modern PCs! Seeing as no PC’s these days have 5 pin DIN connectors, It has to be put through a PS2 adapter and then onto USB for some of the machines.

I still have an old 1970’s Pioneer turntable and hundreds of classic albums on vinyl- I particularly love Jethro Tull. This is connected to an old Nikko amplituner, not the best sounding but looks awesome!

Then there’s the vintage model railway equipment, which I clean up, and put electronic DCC decoders in them to run on my modern, digital layout.

In the living room, I have an Xbox 360 & PS 3, yet I still have a working Commodore 64 set up under the TV.
Ironically both the Xbox and PS3 have failed in some way or another (Red Ring and Disk failures respectively) and the 1980’s machine is still working perfectly.
I have an old Akai ½ inch Reel to Reel recorder and various tapes, I just love the sound, much better than cassettes, yet I have a Digital Multitrack studio.

I have a set of Roland V drums but play a 1960’s Ludwig out of preference!

I am such a sentimental fool too, one of my Dad's guitars which he gave to me as a teenager - an old 1970's Daion Les Paul copy, not really worth anything but plays really nicely - got ruined when my place got flooded, not by the ingress of water but the mould that took hold afterwards and ate through anything and everything downstairs.
I decided to dispose of it when we were clearing up the aftermath.
At the local tip I picked it up from the boot of the car and looked at it, looked at my partner and started sobbing, I couldn't throw it away. I was really upset by the thought of it being crushed and mangled, so much so, that my partner had to drive me home. Later that year for my birthday, she had it restored as best that she could, it will never be playable but it is hung on my study wall as a reminder of the past and that newer isn't necessarily, better!

Apolgies for length - it does stretch back to the seventies you know.
(Fri 5th Nov 2010, 17:29, More)

» Road Rage

The thing that really annoys the balls off me is Truck drivers on the motorway. Just yesterday I was making my way from My hometown of Reading, for that is where I live, to pick up Mrs. Tehmonster from work in Bracknell (one Junction down the M4).
I was in the middle lane, minding my own business at about 75 ish, paying full attention to my surroundings. This is something I always do as it really really REALLY fucks me off if other people do not. Anyways, I'm coming up to a lorry in the slow lane and the lorry is only doing about 55, bearing in mind that i'm going at least 20 miles an hour faster than him, he puts his indicator on for a split second and pulls into my lane, I have to slam the anchors on, tyres lock up and i nearly spin, cue me driving overtaking said twunt, cursing and swearing only to have the swearing fall on deaf ears. Fucking latvian drivers!

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that these vehicular obscenities should be banned from using anything but the slow lane on the motorways and dual carriageways. It takes them about 5 minutes to overtake a truck, because guess what... they're all limited to the same speed of 57.5 miles per hour. Therefore what is the point of overtaking and making it impossible for those that can do thenational speed limit, to do so!!!


*Pop* There goes cherry

7" of pure hard.... Text!
(Fri 13th Oct 2006, 14:16, More)

» Dentists

Orin Scrivello (DDS)
When I was younger, just a bad little kid,
My momma noticed funny things I did,
Like Shooting puppies with a BB Gun
I\'d Poison Guppys and when I was done,
I\'d find a pussy cat and bash in it\'s head.
That\'s when my momma said
(what did she say)
She said my boy I think someday
You\'ll find a way, to make your natural tendencies pay.

Son, be a dentist, you have a talent for causing things pain!
Son, be a dentist, people will pay you to be inhumane.
Your temperments\' wron for the preisthood
And teaching would suit you still less!
Son, be a dentist - you\'ll be a success!

Dentists\' Sadistic barstewards, the lot of them!

About ten years ago I went to the NHS dentist with a really bad toothache, dentist (By the name of Dr. Kaspera) examined my mouth, found that I\'d gotten a hole through one of my molars and he decided I needed it removed. Fine I thought so a week later I go back to see the same dentist, puts me under local through a very painful injection and proceeds to pull the tooth out, the WRONG tooth out. Unbeknownst to me and assuming all was well, I went on my merry way home. When the local wore off I was left in excruciating pain. I went back the following day and this is what he had to say, and I quote.
\"Ah, i seem to have pulled the wrong tooth out, never mind I\'ll get the little bugger this time.\"
At which point I freaked, ran out of the surgery, closely followed by my mother. She decided to take me to another (non NHS) dentist who promptly filled the hole and I was on my way. Since then I have never been back, never had toothache and never needed to see a dentist.

Sadistic bastards the lot of them!!!!
(Fri 3rd Nov 2006, 10:58, More)