b3ta.com user semtec
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» Secret Santa

Secret Santa...
I just passed on 5 Bic lighters with 'twat' worded on each to a painful collegue who often steals mine.
(Wed 20th Dec 2006, 0:19, More)

» The Worst Journey in the World

Ketamine.
Took some/alot of k at a festival in Sydney. Ended up in Legoland talking to the Devil.

That was a bad journey.
(Fri 8th Sep 2006, 0:37, More)

» I hurt my rude bits

That came from my goat..??
I once owned an evil bad tempered goat, all crazy eyed and hoofed like the devil it was. Any way, I had a pen outside for it were I would feed it whole lemons and various garbage ( Much to the amusement of me and my stoner mates ) One night I fell really sick with a fever so took myself to the hospital where the doctor found a massive tick on my ballsack. Youch! This variety, he told me would have come from a goat for sure. To make things worse, in the middle of the night, in my semi-concious state of sickness I grabbed my 'ball ointment' thinking it was water and drank half of it (In TWO swigs, with a breate in between)Had to be rushed to the emergency room where I stayed for two days verging on death.

Incidentally, I have now taken the enclosure down and have my goats head tied to a breeze block so he cant move around that much.
I still feed him lemons.
(Wed 19th Jul 2006, 4:55, More)

» Lies I told on my CV

Lying on a CV...
Well, this is similar. Sitting in front of five absolute strangers trying to convince them to let me live in there beautiful share house..All very square individuals I must say.
Whats to be said that they wont find out anyway:I enjoy vomiting in the gutter and hanging around felacial women. I will probably end up robbing you. I dont have a job. I enjoy smoking crack/meth/cigarettes I find on the ground. I am loud. I am annoying. I WILL end up robbing you...I hope they go for it, pappy needs a new pair of undies.
(Fri 7th Jul 2006, 5:58, More)

» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

How bulbs can you do at once...?
worked in a cafe in a ritzi part of town full of rich swine. Daily i would lay mucus, spit anything dirty I could get my hands on in peoples food. I would also give this very fussy customer who demanded decaf coffee due to his extremely poor health and high blood pressure the strongest regular coffees I could muster. We would also inhale the bulb gas out of the creaming machine and get really high.

I did the hiring and only hired young college girls that I could manipulate into my bed (Or toilet out the back).

Good times.
(Mon 24th Jul 2006, 3:03, More)
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