» My sex misconceptions

periods
i used to think women were irritable only a few days every month. I've grown up to know that usually the opposite is true.
(Fri 26th Sep 2008, 7:21, More)

» Food sabotage

my pop is a bastard
when I was young, about 6 or 7 I'm not sure why, but I really loved avocados. Well on one night out for a family dinner we went out for some sushi. A little while after we got our food my dad offered me a slice of avocado. Being 6, I didn't even stop and think of why a sushi restaurant would be serving avocado. I grabbed it of the plate and gobbled it down without any hesitation, then nearly choked to death... The bastard had used his chopsticks to mold a slice of "avocado" out of wasabi.
(Mon 22nd Sep 2008, 10:10, More)

» Going Too Far

2nd post on this qotw, but worthy
at someone's party this one girl who i'll call "H" was drinking copious amounts and passed out on the kitchen counter. she had been wearing a short skirt and ppl started prodding the inside of her legs jokingly (no she wasnt raped), anyway it went too far when someone poured hotsauce all over her crotch, which undoubtedly soak through, and dare i say, in her... well you know. "H" awoke with a deep burning sensation and someone told her what had happened. With this she jumped into the kitechen sink and commenced flushing herself with the tap in front of a gang of ppl. when her problem persisted some dude mentioned that milk was the key, and so "H" was on the counter pouring milk down her crotch...
she had always been an airhead, and the next day she acted like nothing had happened...

i had had a crush on this girl up until that day...



(sorry if this post offened you in any way)
(Fri 10th Nov 2006, 21:15, More)

» Going Too Far

another party story but this was my house...
my mum and sister left town for some reason for the last week of my junior year of high school. So, as this was the time I really started drinking, I had a few parties at my house. one of these nights we built a 3 man hooka out of a large animal crackers tub, and smoked all night - eating the special brownies we'd made. I then decided that it would be a good idea to burn all the school books I had accumulated throughout my high school career (i stole most of my books) and all was well as they burned furiously in my backyard firepit. i knew we went too far when i awoke two days later to find my house on fire... (the ashes from books can retain very hot embers for a long time). also i went too far that week the day before finals; I drank a record 36 beers starting at noon and going on till 3am because i matched everyone that showed up at my house with beer. needless to say i didnt go to my finals, and in doing so failed 6 of my 8 classes...
I was the only person in our gifted program to finish the year as such a train wreck.
(Fri 10th Nov 2006, 21:05, More)

» Dentists

off on a tangent, and it wa my mate...
Last year me and a mate decided to go over to our friend's house since she was leaving for a month to visit family. anyway her flight was due at 12:30 and we got there at 11:30 and proceded to kill 2 full fifths between the 3 of us. needless to say we got pretty smashed in 30 minutes and were out of there at 12. This was in the winter(in alaska) and my friend was driving a chevy tahoe without studed tires, and the car was in two wheel drive b/c we had been spinning broadies earlier. so anyway we went down a hill, lost control (speeding) and crossed the median, hit a gardrail and some oncoming traffic. i was riding shotgun and neither of us were buckled up, but i was holding the oh shit handle; my friend busted all his front teeth on the steeringwheel and just now got his permanent replacements in (about 12 months later). somehow i was fine except a few cuts from the empty fifths exploding in my lap. in the hospital my friend ended up blowing a .16, double the legal limit of .08 and the lucky bastrd somehow managed to get off scott free b/c the rookie cop filed something wrong. ----well i learned a lesson from this all, and now when i drink and drive i toss out the empty fifths into the street.

oh and my dentist's name is Dr. kwunte

sry for length/first post
(Tue 7th Nov 2006, 19:46, More)