b3ta.com user TheSpode
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I am at present a feckless student, and intend to remain so for as long as possible.

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» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

Myxie
I work as an assistant gamekeeper in the hols sometimes, and one job we have to do is dispatch deer hit by cars. This isn't so bad(they go into shock often and just sit there. Bit splattery tho). So we get called, someone's hit a deer. Potter on down, and we dispatch it, no worries. Then it happens. We see a seemingly dead rabbit, and i walk over to chuck it into the bushes. As I Bend down to pick it up, I notice it is pretty fresh, but has no eyes. In fact, as I pick it up by the ears(They shit on their back legs if they die naturally), it turns out to have been in one of the comas caused by myximatosis, that dread disease. it starts kicking, very much alive, and one of my fingers goes into the evehole. Prety nasty, you may think, but there's more. My finger kills it. Right into the brain. Then bits of brain stick on my fingers. Lovely.

20,000 fathoms my good sir!
(Sat 23rd Jun 2007, 18:40, More)

» Picky Eaters

Custardy Bastard
I knew a chap who claimed that if any even the TINIEST bit of custard touched anything he ate, he would throw up. While he actually often ate custard, we (me et mes chums) thought that he might throw up ffor the attention if we tested him. So we didn't.
However:
One merry day, when all was right in the land, my chum was eating a bowl of custard on pie, and dropped his spoon into the bowl. Custardy Bastard, who was sitting opposite him, got a fine, minute even, splash of custard near his food, and went ballistic. He HURLED his plate at my friend, covering him in sauce, and for the next week acted as though me chum had raped his dog with a novelty porcupine dildo.
A very disturbed mind.
(Fri 2nd Mar 2007, 0:13, More)

» Dentists

evil
My grampa's dentist (back in 1940s 'merika) had a mistress. In order to support her, he had to fill loads of cavities (paid extra for cavity filling). My grandpa did not have loads of cavities, or at least not until the dentist got at him.
The twunt actually drilled his teeth full of holes, then filled them.

The only sure way to prevent your dentist doing this to you is to clicky on "i like this!" and tell ten friends to do the same.
(Thu 2nd Nov 2006, 23:33, More)