b3ta.com user nobloodinthealcoholstream
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» Presents

on the cheap
cause im skint, ive had to plan ahead and put some thought in this year.

ma: L plates. shes had a provisional for over 30 years but has never had a lesson, so im going to teach her myself. ive got 3 months, then for her birthday in march shes getting an intensive course with a test at the end, just to polish off any of my bad habbits i pass on.

pa: tickets for the eurostar, me and he are going to drive to the nurburgring and do some flying laps (ma's not driving, see above).

bro: i struggled here, but im betting on a job lot of old broken computers and a screwdriver set. he likes to tinker, see. while i spent a grand or so on my machine, he buys things from the 80's for £1 or less and rebuilds them for fun.

lass: we dont buy gifts, we arrange special things for each other. since she likes the old truth/dare ive set up something unique im not going to mention here. but i know what pushes her buttons and this is a cracker.

mate: he likes the nature channels and also pro wrestling (spandex and sweaty oiled men, whatever floats your boat i guess) so instead of some half assed dvd's ive gone for 2 little ant farms, one for each of us. the plan is to raise seperate colonies then meet up and pit them against each other over a sugar cube or something like that. whether a fight breaks out or they simply start up rival construction companies to see who can get it home first, either way it should be fun to watch.
(Fri 27th Nov 2009, 11:08, More)

» PE Lessons

the joys of school rugby
being 6ft 1 and 18 stone of (poorly constructed, mostly out of fat) brick shit house by the age of 14, i was picked for the school rugby team. now this presented an unusual problem, in that i loved rugby and hadnt bothered to wait for the required age of 18 to sign for the local pub team.

see, school rugby here is a non contact sport, touch tackles and no pushing in the scrums, rucks and mauls are sort of a ceremonial thing without any contest. but i learned from the savages, we had 3 prison teams in our pub sunday leage and even an ex pro league player in one of them for grand theft auto (i couldnt stop the cunt, god knows how the coppers tackled him).

well, i wasnt willing to compromise. so i was generally given a red card after 11 minutes of every match (sin binned for 10 within the first, then sent off when i came back on after a smoke or 2). they still kept picking me though the daft sods, i think it was an intimidation tactic than for my playing. ill be the first to admit im shite, but i still love to play.
(Tue 24th Nov 2009, 11:16, More)