b3ta.com user gunken
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» Failed

absolute disaster
I failed at doing 2 things at once...

Trying to put my watch on while using the toilet.

At the crucial moment my finger slipped and I dropped my watch in the toilet and pissed all over my legs

(Fri 5th Jan 2007, 21:44, More)

» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

Wasn't going to post but...
...there's so many depressing stories here that I think I ought redress the balance with a comparatively happy story :)

During my entire 1 nights experience working as a caterer at a posh hotel I was basically waitering and glass collecting in the function room, when on my way back through the bar to get to the kitchen I was stopped by a hail from some guy asking for 'two cokes please'.
After pretending not to hear once ( i was dead nervous) he asked again so I had to a) find the coke b) find the glasses c) find the ice. Then I tried to charge for them when it was a free bar. He was very understanding though which was nice of him.

Then at the end of the night me and my mate were washing champagne glasses in the dishwasher when a supervisor came in, looked at the load we'd just done and said: 'this won't do boys, this is a FIVE STAR hotel!' and told us to start again. I'm glad to say we simply knuckled down and cleaned all the sodding glasses properly, then went home, never to return. Altho presumably what we should have done was uncontrollably pissed and shat and spunked and gozzed all over them, put them in the dishwasher then ran away whooping with glee...or something ;)

sorry for length, I'm still new !
(Thu 27th Jul 2006, 15:04, More)

» Lies I told on my CV

A job application form....
I had applied for a job doing catering work at a very posh 5-star hotel. Filled out the form, then handed it in the next day. A week later went down for a chat about the job with the catering manager. She went through my application, over my qualifications etc, then stopped and looked at me and said, 'I wasn't sure about this part though, what's going on here?'
On the form was the question, 'How many children do you have?' To which I had answered '0'. However, I had been stupid enough to leave the form lying carelessly unattended on my desk and one of my housemates had taken the opportunity to put a '1' in front of the 0.
I had to explain that I didn't really have 10 children and I wasn't sure what had happened there at all and I'm very sorry..

I got the job but it was rubbish and I jacked it in after one night and returned to my normal gutter rat student lifestyle.
An unintentional lie I suppose..
(Tue 11th Jul 2006, 12:18, More)

» Apparently I'm a sex offender

Not me but a friend....
...Used to have (and still does as far as I know) a great habit of using his phone to take photos/videos of pretty girls he sees. Now this is always a pretty harmless activity and is done very tongue in cheek ( he deletes most of them afterwards) but as you can imagine it's not something you want to get caught doing...

In a bar listening to some live music, it got pretty crowded and a couple sat down opposite us at our table. The girl was pretty enough, and her bloke was a big bald biker type. My friend had his camera phone out and skillfully, under the guise of writing a message (directly infront of his face) took a photo, snapped shut phone and thought no more of it. Later when he looked at it, he had a photo of the girl looking at the stage, and her bloke staring straight into the camera lens, with a 'you've been completely collared' expression on his face...
(Fri 18th Aug 2006, 14:44, More)

» Secret Santa

I do a secret santa....
...on another website community I'm on. This year I sent my randomised American friend 2 CDs that he posted he wanted.

I'm still waiting for mine, but I'm sure it will be cool when it gets here :)

I like secret santas !
(Sun 17th Dec 2006, 22:16, More)
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