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- a member for 17 years, 9 months and 16 days
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» Useless advice
packet of airline peanuts
looking on the back of the packet, it read:
"warning: may contain nuts"
thank god they told me, i was gonna eat them as well, the most useless as far
(Thu 19th Oct 2006, 11:22, More)
packet of airline peanuts
looking on the back of the packet, it read:
"warning: may contain nuts"
thank god they told me, i was gonna eat them as well, the most useless as far
(Thu 19th Oct 2006, 11:22, More)
» I hurt my rude bits
Ouch
This storey makes me cringe everytime i think about it, it was back when i was 14 when i attended my first house party. I got severly pissed (i never drunk that much at that age!) and proceeded to chat up girls.
Now... i found one which was quite attractive, and quite pissed to match (just like me!). I began talking to her and told me her name was Tiffany. I thought it was fuckin ace that i was pulling girls while mashed on jack daniels. We talked utter drivel for about half an hour, then she promted me to go upstairs with her for a shag (my german helmet almost shot up and knocked her head off).
I walked upstairs away from the crowd into a bedroom with a lock on the door which was quite convenient. Skip forward a few mintues and im banging her like a rabbit on ecstacy in the middle of mating season. I thought it was the best thing ever.... Now here comes the best bit (no she wasn't really a man).
She said she had a really great time but before she goes, she said she will give me a blow job. I was amazed, all this in my first house party, awesome! Away she goes on my pink nazi trooper, i lie back on the bed and close my eyes while shes at it.
Suddenly, "bite" the stupid bitch bite my knob! I ran around bleeding all over the room and i passed out, got taken into hostpital and had a very popular jewish operation due to the damage.
A couple of weeks later i met her again and she asked if i was ok... i told her that i may never look at a blow job the same way again because of her, then i told her to go die in a fire. She laughed at this seemed to enjoy it!
Moral of this tale is... girls are evil.
Sorry for length, (no not my knob, the length is ok)
(Tue 18th Jul 2006, 13:31, More)
Ouch
This storey makes me cringe everytime i think about it, it was back when i was 14 when i attended my first house party. I got severly pissed (i never drunk that much at that age!) and proceeded to chat up girls.
Now... i found one which was quite attractive, and quite pissed to match (just like me!). I began talking to her and told me her name was Tiffany. I thought it was fuckin ace that i was pulling girls while mashed on jack daniels. We talked utter drivel for about half an hour, then she promted me to go upstairs with her for a shag (my german helmet almost shot up and knocked her head off).
I walked upstairs away from the crowd into a bedroom with a lock on the door which was quite convenient. Skip forward a few mintues and im banging her like a rabbit on ecstacy in the middle of mating season. I thought it was the best thing ever.... Now here comes the best bit (no she wasn't really a man).
She said she had a really great time but before she goes, she said she will give me a blow job. I was amazed, all this in my first house party, awesome! Away she goes on my pink nazi trooper, i lie back on the bed and close my eyes while shes at it.
Suddenly, "bite" the stupid bitch bite my knob! I ran around bleeding all over the room and i passed out, got taken into hostpital and had a very popular jewish operation due to the damage.
A couple of weeks later i met her again and she asked if i was ok... i told her that i may never look at a blow job the same way again because of her, then i told her to go die in a fire. She laughed at this seemed to enjoy it!
Moral of this tale is... girls are evil.
Sorry for length, (no not my knob, the length is ok)
(Tue 18th Jul 2006, 13:31, More)
» Useless advice
Don't
put your knob in a light bulb socket and switch it on
(Thu 19th Oct 2006, 11:17, More)
Don't
put your knob in a light bulb socket and switch it on
(Thu 19th Oct 2006, 11:17, More)