b3ta.com user Ich Komme
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» Food sabotage

My mate
works at a funeral directors. The boss is a right miserable cunt and barks orders at people all day long. One day he demands my mate makes him a cup of tea and holds out his cup without even making eye contact. Said mate returns five minutes later with a lovely cup of tea for the boss only the cup had made an unplanned stop at the morgue in the basement and had been lovingly massaged with the bell end of a corpse. The boss takes a sip and says "Mmm, nice- thanks". My mate felt guilty for about eight seconds.
(Sat 20th Sep 2008, 15:34, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

I just got a computer controlled autonomous car...
...it keeps parking on the road outside my house and refuses to drive onto my property. It must be the hard drive.
(Fri 22nd Oct 2021, 15:48, More)