b3ta.com user Judgeysan
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» Vandalism

Wasn't me but...
...a friend of mine came home one night to find the wall of her block of flats covered in graffiti.
She rang the local council to report it and was told that, unless it was racially or sexually offensive, there was nothing they could do.
At 3am she was outside, armed with a spraycan.
The next day she rang again to say that someone had painted "XXXX Council are a bunch of queer n*gger cunts" on her wall and could they do something about it?
(Thu 7th Oct 2010, 13:01, More)

» Waste of money

Nice suit
One year long ago, in the days before mortgage and children, I decided to blow my Christmas bonus and treat myself to a smart new suit, several cuts above the two - functional - M&S numbers what I had.
Lunchtime, I tried it on, it fit beautifully, hung well, silk lining, 'andsome... so I bought it.
That evening, on the train home, I threw the suit bag on to the luggage rack and dozed off.
Half an hour later, I stepped on to the platform and watched as the train left the station with my suit still on it.
Still, for the five minutes I wore it, it looked great and, hopefully someone, somewhere, the exact same measurements as me, is still looking sharp.
(Thu 30th Sep 2010, 14:30, More)

» Vandalism

My favouritest ever graffiti
Written on a wall, near a train station which I can't for the life of me remember,in very small and neat writing... "Terrorists are gay"
(Thu 7th Oct 2010, 13:04, More)

» Public Transport Trauma

Good samaritan
A couple of years ago, my friend Jim and I were on the train home from central London after a pleasant evening of beer drinking.

On the seat on the other side of the aisle, a smartly dressed elderly gent seemed to be in some serious discomfort, unable to sit or stand without grimacing.

Being the public-spirited kind of chap that I am, I asked if he was alright and he asked whether I could help him.

How could I refuse? I walked over and he proceeded to lie down across the double seat before explaining that his hip joint had popped out of its socket.

It was then up to me to grab him by the ankle and pull - hard - more than once - until his hip was back in its rightful place.

I was drunk, I'm quite squeamish, and this was not the end I was expecting to the evening.

I still shudder when I think about the 'pop' as his joint righted itself...

And the old git got off at the next station without so much as a thank you.
(Fri 30th May 2008, 13:22, More)

» Bad Management

Only last month...
Our MD called everyone in to inform them that we hadn't paid any bills for around 6 months, including the landlord's.
"Don't worry though," he said "Head Office in the States have said that they've sorted it."
When the bailiffs turned up half an hour later and started taking our PCs away, we guessed that Head Office in the States may have told a fib.
I'm still looking for work btw, if anyone's got any going...
(Fri 11th Jun 2010, 14:33, More)
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