b3ta.com user Eldred
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» Barred

The Krankies got me barred
Every year a club at my uni went to the pantomime at the Pavilion Theatre in Glasgow. I'm told no other theatre in the city would let them within a mile. These trips had to be booked under assumed names, on account of the club being barred for life every time they went.

So... Christmas 1997, and we're sitting there enjoying Aladdin. Drinks have been drunk and it's not long before a bit of good-natured heckling begins. People who know Glasgow will know that the Pavilion panto always stars the Krankies. Or at least it did until wee Jimmy fell off a beanstalk a couple of years back and threatened to sue - but that's another story.

It is a panto tradition for the cast to throw sweets into the audience. It is a club tradition for the audience to throw sweets at the cast. Mine hit wee Jimmy Krankie on the forehead. The panto stops. The other krankie comes back on stage to berate us. Children cry. Angry ushers appear and escort us from the building. We're banned for life. Again. So we went to the pub and got (more) pished - the panto was crap anyway.

And I claim no responsibility for the beanstalk incident.

I also got kicked out of the terminal building at Glasgow airport for not being a passenger during last month's terrorist alert/government conspiracy/feeble attempt to justify bombing more arab countries*

(*delete as you feel appropriate)

(Tue 5th Sep 2006, 10:56, More)

» Road Rage

I'm normally quite calm
And i have total respect for the majority of other drivers, pedestrians and cyclists. Yes, even cyclists - and not just because I am one myself sometimes.

However. What really gets my goat are the ones who seem to want to get killed. The pedestrians who walk out into the road without looking while texting or on the phone. The cyclists who think it's clever to be on a road at night with no lights or helmet, wearing black. The drivers who sit 2 inches from my bumper while driving at 80mph on the motorway. And the bus drivers, oh where do I start with the bus drivers. I have one thing to say: indicators should be put on before you start to move out not when you've already shoved me half way over to the other side of the road because you pulled out without warning.

Ah, I feel better now :)

EDIT: ooh taxis, I forgot taxis. How I hate taxis. Can somebody explain why they're allowed to use bus lanes and I get fined £30 for it??!!
(Thu 12th Oct 2006, 22:06, More)

» Useless advice

You'll find it in the last place you look...

But I enjoy carrying on looking for things when I've already found them....
(Thu 19th Oct 2006, 14:14, More)

» Road Rage

People who use disabled spaces
A friend of a friend uses a wheelchair, and as such, is fairly entitled to park in spaces reserved for disabled drivers.

These spaces often have a hatched section attached. For those too dumb to realise it, this is so that the driver has space to get out of the car and into a wheelchair.

So this girl was shopping at a supermarket, and came out to find some idiot had squeezed into the hatched section IN BETWEEN TWO CARS.

She went into the store and had the car registration number read out on the tannoy several times, to no avail.

She eventually had to sit beside her car for 20 minutes waiting for the stupid woman to come back.

When said idiot returned, my friend's friend was remarkably polite, but pointed out the problem.

And get this..... idiot driver cursed and swore and said disabled people shouldn't be allowed to drive anyway because it wasn't safe!!
(Fri 13th Oct 2006, 22:52, More)

» Spoooky Coincidence

Ooh I have a friend in that vast place, maybe you know him?
While stranded at Bologna airport overnight thanks to the fuddery of a certain German airline company, my mum and I struck up a conversation with a fellow passenger. He was from New Zealand and on the 2nd leg of a 5-stage journey home.

When he told us he lived in Christchurch, I mentioned as a joke that we had a family friend who lived there too and perhaps he knew him.

Much hilarity followed.

Until I mentioned the guy's name...... and it turned out to be his best friend!

The connection was a useful one in sad circumstances some time later.... our friend had been ill and we hadn't heard from him in some time. We'd swapped email addresses with the guy in Bologna, and were able to get in touch with him and confirm our fears that our friend had passed away. A sad way for the story to finish, but without having had that spooky meeting we might never have heard what happened.
(Wed 14th Feb 2007, 14:23, More)
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