» The Worst Journey in the World

The wierdest journey ever as the letter 'B'
A few moons ago, had had a great night out in bristol, clubbing, tsubstance abuse, the usual.
clubs close, we decide a few of us will go back to matey's house and carry on the madness. we call the night dealer and arange to meet him and pick up 3 g's of columbia's finest sniffety sniff. Job done, we get to matey's place. I proceed to pul out the 1st wrap, and chop out 3 fucking enoumous lines, and procced to hoover up the first. Shock horror - it fucking hurt like buggery. fucksocks !!! dealer had given me 2 wraps of coke , and by accident a wrap of fucking ketamine. matey & matey are fucking pissing themselves at me, and procced to snort the right stuff. well , its too fucking late for me now isn't it ? having snorted probably 6-7 times as much K as you would. This is now getting totaly wierd for me. I'm sat there for fucking hours, no amount of coke is going to change my now seriously warped and hallucinating mind. every time matey 1 spoke, which was a lot - fucking loads, I became convinced that I was the letter 'B' , litteraly, each time a word with B in it was said by him - yep - that was me. Floating out of his mouth and accross the room. quite nice being a member of the alphabet. fucking wiedest journey ever. 6 hours as the letter B. followed by me licking the fucking carpet to collect all my spent B's. I fucking hate ketamine. and carpet bits in my mouth. hmmmph. did get an appology and a bonus big wrap of coke off dealer dude though ! yay !!!
(Thu 14th Sep 2006, 12:41, More)

» The Worst Journey in the World

Bristol to Paddington with Virgin trains.
About 5 years ago, was travelling Bristol to London, waiting at Bristol Temple meads for said train which had been delayed outside birmingham. Bastard thing was something like an hour late coz of rain on the track,leaves on the trees, sheep in the fields, you know the excuses - Anways, I start drinking my travel stella's, and manae to do 4 of 6 cans while waiting. run off and aquire another 6. train turns up, by which point i'm quite pissed on the wonder that is stella. marvelous stuff.
Get on the over crowded late bastard virgin train, no basterd seats. oh well, at least i have my stella. find a nice door way to occupy and shout at passing comuters from. (have to entertain myself somehow) anyway - true to fasion about 15 mins into journey, I need a piss, so off i trot looking for the loo's. 1st one - out of order... second... out of order... 3rd... yepp - its fucked too. so i go find the guard to have a moan. guard tells me the bogs on these trains automaticaly go out of service if the train's water supply is drained. well, thats fucking great isn't it ? he then informs me its been fucked since birmingham. great. a train full of people with no where to piss. here comes the fucking genius of virgin trains when train gets stuck between reading and paddington for what was a fucking eternity coz of ducks on a nearby pond or whatever. the genius's anounce free soft drinks for all and everyone due to the delay. weehay !! by now i'm thoroughly pissed, as is half the trin most probably, and due to the free drinks - those who weren't already desperate for leak very shortly would be. 2 hours later - still not moved, in agony for a piss now. so what happens ? we all decide the only thing for it is to use the front carriage as 'gent' and the rear carriage for the ladies. by the time word had gotten round - mass pissing at the front and rear of train. the whole fucking thing stank by the time it finaly pulled into paddington.
If only virgin managment and the bearded one could have been the ones to clear up the mess.
(Thu 14th Sep 2006, 15:45, More)