b3ta.com user wallynothere
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» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

alrighty then! my kind of question !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In my field of employment (looney nursing) you see lots but a few memorable ones include:

One patient hit his head on a table during a seizure, when we walked in 20 mins later, another patient was poking his finger in the hole in his head and licking off what ever he found.

An incontinent female patient had removed her depends pad and there was lots of blood and shit running down her legs. That wasn't the horrific bit though, it was the male patient sitting on the floor, smiling, eating her pad.

Being sent to another ward to clean up after a death and assuming it was natural causes. When we arrived discovering that it wasn't natural causes but one patient striking another patient with a 12kg dumbell about the head repeatedly. Having blood, bone, brains and hair dripping off the ceiling on to you could be described as horrific.

Receiving a frantic phone call from the staff on another ward stating one of their patients just didn't seem right and to get there as quick as possible. On arriving, discovering that a very large dayroom was covered on every exposed surface, including the ceiling, with shit. Then finding the aforementioned patient very dead behind a chair. He suffered faecal impaction and hadn't shat for 3 weeks. Unfortunately, he got hold of 2 loaves of bread and ate the lot causing his guts to literally explode.

This will probably be seen as more horrific by male users. Sitting having morning tea with some other staff members when a male patient walks in with a peice of glass in his hand. He then calmly cut a 2 inch long hole in his scrotum, pulled each testicle through the hole, smiled at us, then walked out.

There are lots more but the most horrific thing for me now is that it really doesn't bother me much anymore and is seen as amusing to those of us who have been in the game a long time.
(Fri 22nd Jun 2007, 13:22, More)

» Sleepwalking

sleepwalking yes but may have been induced by mind altering substances
When I was in my late teens, went to a party one Saturday night, about 10 km from where I was living. The previous 72 hours I had had no sleep (work 12 hr shifts + going out). After being at the party for 6 hours i was pretty knackered and kept dropping off. A lovely lady who I had worked with offered me some white powder saying "snort this and you won't feel tired". Being no stranger to the joys of speeding, I had no hesitation in doing what she asked. That is all I remember until the following Tuesday morning. I woke up fully dressed but with all my clothes on inside out, no shoes, socks that had no feet in them (+ very sore and cut feet)and a garbage bag that contained 800 cigarettes, 10 copies of the local Sunday paper and 2 large pizzas. I checked my wallet, found that I had about $65 more than I started out with.
Where I woke up was the strange part though, on a jetty in a little fishing village, 260 km from home.
(Thu 23rd Aug 2007, 10:29, More)

» Tales of the Unexplained

3 from my work in a loony bin
1. Doing 2:00 am round with another nurse in a "veggie" ward, open the door to one of the bedrooms and see a man syanding next to the bed. He turned and smiled at us at which point we both screamed and ran to the next ward. Came back about 10 mins later with 4 other staff to find man dead on the floor. Weird part was that for 62 years, since birth, he had been a quad with very little brain function.

2. Same place, trying to get an old duck to go inside and go to bed but she refused to go in the building. Kept saying "I won't go in while the white ladies are there". Tried dragging her, threatening her and drugging her, wouldn't move - ended up spending the night sleeping on the verandah. In the morning we found one of the oldies dead. Over the next 5 years that i worked that ward she did it 8 times, dead one the next morning every time. Still does it apparently.

3. I was supervisor one night, got a phone call saying get here quick, we have trouble. Took 2 other staff with me, opened the ward door, place looked like a slaughterhouse, blood on walls, ceiling and floor. In one corner there was a body laying in a pool of blood with a kid squatting down by the head. I asked the staff what the fuck was going on and they just stood there pointing at the body. Looked back and the kid has got one hand inside the skull and sucking the other hand with a look of glee on his face. Turns out the "body" had had a fall against a window and smashed his head. The eater was a little blind kid i'd known for years who just used to sit in a chair and rock all day, never interacted with anyone. It was one of the most gruesome things i've ever seen, big red smile - even the police that showed up all vomitted.

Lots of weird shit happens here, they reckon it's cos of all the "tortured souls" that have died.
(Fri 4th Jul 2008, 14:14, More)

» Stuff I've found

A tampon
Then girlfriend was:
a. very menstrual
b. very stoned
c. very horny

After discreetly removing her tampon, well, yanking it out and throwing it on the floor , she asked me in an urgent fashion to "Fuckin' hurry up and slot me one before my minge leaks!" (note: this seemed acceptable language of love at the time as she was born in LIverpool). After a few minutes of consumating our love, I thought to myself, while this doesn't feel unpleasant, it certainly doesn't feel right. Digital investigation proved that it wasn't, as I feared, a large pustulant sore but in fact 2 more tampons.
Marijuana = short term memory loss.

Due to family connections, I still see her at functions and always remind her of this amusing anecdote.
(Sat 8th Nov 2008, 23:45, More)

» Asking people out

Used on me and yes, it worked
Starting a night shift on a geriatric ward, my regular nurse assistant didn't show up. 20 minutes later a 30 something lady walked in and whispered in my ear - "I'm Kelly, I'm really tired and really stoned, haven't slept for 2 days".

When the day staff left, she lay on her side on the couch, pulled her uniform up and took her knickers off.

"I don't care where you stick it, just wipe me when you've finished"
(Fri 11th Dec 2009, 0:22, More)
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