b3ta.com user Ciderbob
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for Ciderbob:
Profile Info:

South West Cider Warrior!

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Personal Hygiene

Satan's Feet!
My best friend and his little brother have quite possibly the worst feet in the world. On at least 3 occasions, I can remember both not being able to go swimming due to in-growing toenails...on every toe...on each foot! How the fuck do you manage that! 20 toes, all swollen and leaking pus. At the ages of 15 and 13 too! The elder also never cuts his toenails. One day sat around playing abit of PS2, I look down at his foot and see a black mark on his big toenail - on closer inspection the mark starts to move. Seconds later, a live ANT crawls out from the yellow, rotten cavity behind the nail and walks across the carpet!
(Thu 22nd Mar 2007, 14:34, More)

» Shit Stories: Part Number Two

Filthy Scat Accountants
Now, I work in a small accounting firm, no more than 25 people. However, over the last 3 months there have been THREE incidents (in the lovely clean girls bogs!) where someone has missed the target. I don't mean leaving a brown slug mark down the pan, I mean a 9inch steamer sitting on the seat. I am currently playing detective trying to deduce who has performed these acts...so I can get her to do it on my chest - for a reasonable price of course! God I love shit.
(Thu 27th Mar 2008, 17:25, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Mrs Ciderbob believes that a cow in a bun with a piece of Wenselydale give me teh horn! Having met in the local beer emporium for a drink and some food one lunch, I proceeded to have a cheeseburger. Upon leaving the pub, I kiss Mrs Ciderbob goodbye and she feels my pork sword poking into her and asks what it is - my reply being if she doesn't know what it is after 2 years of bouncing on it then she never will. I then say I have a fetish for cheeseburgers, which is met with a rather odd silence..and have since been the focus of many a gag (so has she...aahh thank you!) whilst eating any kind of fast food! She also believe I like a tug whilst watching Shark documentaries.
*Virgin bloody EVERYWHERE!*
(Fri 29th Sep 2006, 14:09, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Seven of Nine from Star Trek Voyager
Damn she was fine! She spoke with real authority - *shivers*! I would let that lycra clad borg slut assimilate me any day!
It felt so wrong because the Borg were the Star Fleets enemy!
(Fri 29th Sep 2006, 15:03, More)