b3ta.com user narna
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» We have to talk

Birds, Bees and Father...
I'm 17 and going to a house party that night. It's the party of the year and everyone's going to be there inc. the girl I'd been foolin' around with the last few weeks. Just as I'm leaving I hear a shout from my Dads room...

"We need To Talk!"

I walk up the stairs dreading what is going to come of this "Talk". It goes something like this...

"Hi, have a seat, we need to talk. You've come to that stage in your life where... er... your older and er.. are wanting to...

Let me start again... You know when your really hungry, like your gonna eat somethin OR ELSE... and there's a massive cream cake just sitting there waiting for you to tuck in, you know, a top notch, all the goods; icing, cream, sprinkles and ofcourse a cherry on top kinda cream cake. Well... all I'm askin my Son is before you do anythin else... Get A Spoon!!! I mean, you don't wanna get your fingers dirty now, do ya?!"

I haven't taken him serious since.


Narna xXxXx
(Fri 20th Apr 2007, 21:06, More)

» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Exposing my rash...
One year, my friends and I went on a short camping trip to Abersoch, Wales. All was going well and we started mingling with a female group of friends who had the same idea of a weekend away in the sun (or not).

With not much else to do in the empty field we all headed to the beach. We were having a kick around on the wet sand with all the boys doing their best to show off their best Brazilian skills and all the girls either joining in or attempting to catch the suns rays.

On the walk back up to the tents, well and truly knackered from all that running, I noticed a stinging sensation in my pants and after a subtle dip of my hand to investigate I found clumps of sand underneath my foreskin, uncomfortable but not in too much pain I carried on the walk not letting on to anyone my current situation and trying my best not to waddle like John Wayne.

When I got back to the tent I examined thoroughly my now bright red bell end and became quite worried. I wasn’t bothered with the redness all over but more with the strange bumps that had arose like when a cartoon character gets hit on the head, and it had became a hell of a lot more painful. I called my mates inside the tent for a second opinion (what a friends for?) and when I whipped it out they all recoiled back with a hiss as if they felt my pain. “G” my bestest pal in the whole wide world reached out to feel the contours on my lumpy manpiece and as he does, all the girls burst in to let us know the BBQ was ready. Cue 6 boys, one with his pants down turning round like rabbits in headlights.

I’m standing there in our 8 man tent with all my 5 mates bent over within a few inches of my penis, examining it in much detail and with "G" stroking it with his little finger…

We didn’t get any that weekend. Well, except my painful mini-stroke wank off my best mate, does that count?

Definite apologies for length…
(Tue 17th Mar 2009, 16:18, More)

» God

Religious Education...
I hated RE and even more so my teacher. One time I'd had enough and decided enough was enough of all the bullshit she was trying to feed us so I told her I didn't agree with anything she said and I didn't believe in God...

... she gave me a detention! How fuckin' unfair?!

Appropriately her name was Mrs Godson, and she never educated us, more forced her religion on to us and shot down all other beliefs labelling them ridiculous.

A boy named Mohammed was brave enough to inform her he was in fact a Muslim and apologised quite politely that he had his own beliefs, but he would just get on with it quietly to which she replied, "What a silly boy!"
(Thu 19th Mar 2009, 19:46, More)

» Work Experience

My Work Experience...
... was UBER cool! Went to "Curly Music", a guitar shop in the centre of Liverpool. Sat around playin' guitar all day and just lazin' around. Most relaxed environment ever. At the end of the two weeks I got paid £50 and got given LOADS of free stuff!

I was a happy chappy!


(Wed 16th May 2007, 14:29, More)