b3ta.com user Tribs
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Recent front page messages:

All breakfast rolls are equal, but some breakfast rolls are more equal than others
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(Wed 7th Feb 2024, 21:00, More)

"A person who has not done one half his day's routine by ten o'clock, runs a chance of leaving the other half undone."
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(Sun 4th Feb 2024, 1:36, More)

The pleasure is to bake, Makes no difference what you say
I don't share your greed
The only meal I need
Is the Ace of Spuds
The Ace of Spuds

(Thu 4th Jan 2024, 21:24, More)


(Tue 12th Dec 2023, 14:45, More)

Ho ho ho

(Thu 30th Nov 2023, 12:19, More)

(Sat 17th Jun 2023, 0:48, More)

There's only one way to decide the next PM
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(Thu 20th Oct 2022, 18:39, More)

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(Sun 11th Sep 2022, 2:27, More)

Daily Tabloid Exclusive : "raucous" Xmas party thrown by rob at B3ta Towers
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(Wed 15th Dec 2021, 1:18, More)

Imagine Tom Hanks dressed as Jesus, and Meg Ryan dressed as Mary Magdalene, and also imagine me not wasting any more time on this pic

(Sat 4th Dec 2021, 18:33, More)

Click for bigger (83 kb)
(Thu 8th Apr 2021, 11:50, More)

Unlike that beardy guy in the desert who radicalises impressionable kids into committing acts of terrorism
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(Mon 14th Dec 2020, 11:22, More)

(Fri 6th Nov 2020, 15:33, More)

(Sun 27th Sep 2020, 21:55, More)

(Wed 29th Jul 2020, 16:09, More)

(Sat 7th Mar 2020, 15:32, More)

(Sun 29th Sep 2019, 12:00, More)

(Wed 25th Sep 2019, 15:29, More)

If you wake up and don't want to smile, If it takes just some yellow bile...
If it takes just some yellow bile...
(Fri 26th Jul 2019, 13:48, More)

The Human Cocapede

(Sun 9th Jun 2019, 13:36, More)

(Tue 14th May 2019, 12:57, More)

Found this in the charity shop

(Sun 14th Apr 2019, 16:35, More)

Not suggesting Brexiters were motivated by personal wealth, but...
Arron Banks and Alrosa
Mogg and Somerset Capital Management
Daniel Kawczynski and Electrum Group
Cambridge Analytica
(Wed 3rd Apr 2019, 15:23, More)

(Thu 28th Feb 2019, 14:57, More)

That degree in graphic design really paid off

(Sat 29th Dec 2018, 19:04, More)

(Sat 15th Dec 2018, 21:42, More)

(Fri 12th Oct 2018, 20:28, More)

(Thu 27th Sep 2018, 10:14, More)

(Tue 18th Sep 2018, 22:35, More)

(Fri 17th Aug 2018, 15:24, More)

(Wed 16th May 2018, 12:04, More)

(Wed 9th May 2018, 18:04, More)

Two panels, with a bonus one for I am a generous god
with a bonus one for I am a generous god
(Tue 8th May 2018, 8:10, More)

(Thu 29th Mar 2018, 23:15, More)

"R2, if anyone asks, I heard the disembodied voice of a dead guy telling me to turn off the computer, okay?"

(Sun 4th Mar 2018, 21:56, More)

"But the SatNav said there was plenty of clearance..."

(Thu 1st Mar 2018, 19:51, More)

(Wed 21st Feb 2018, 22:58, More)

:) Dragging this one out for a farewell repost before it gets retired to the country to live out its days

(Thu 23rd Nov 2017, 14:27, More)

Free Binder (100g white flour) with part one

(Thu 2nd Nov 2017, 16:39, More)

(Mon 29th May 2017, 22:10, More)

(Fri 16th Dec 2016, 16:29, More)

This seemed funnier in my head

(And a check suggests some papers have already coined the term. Sod it)
(Tue 6th Oct 2015, 15:44, More)

It's been nearly 2 years since I reposted this!

(Sat 15th Aug 2015, 0:20, More)

(Thu 23rd Apr 2015, 9:11, More)


(Fri 6th Feb 2015, 10:28, More)

And what the heck

(Mon 24th Mar 2014, 8:47, More)

I call this "Poolo"

(Thu 30th Jan 2014, 11:38, More)

Ok, who invited Charles Kane?

(Wed 17th Apr 2013, 19:27, More)


non-optimised humungous meaty girth


Thanks to Toasty for the optimisification!
(Wed 30th Jan 2013, 10:19, More)

(Fri 25th Jan 2013, 10:45, More)

(Thu 8th Sep 2011, 13:41, More)

Moses Moses Moses!

(Mon 9th May 2011, 15:48, More)


(Wed 10th Mar 2010, 21:29, More)

Budget cutbacks...

(Mon 8th Feb 2010, 16:37, More)

(Tue 19th May 2009, 19:31, More)

Never ask Han Solo to help with the decorating

(Wed 14th Jan 2009, 15:45, More)

(Thu 31st Jul 2008, 16:45, More)

(Sat 24th May 2008, 23:19, More)


(Mon 7th Jan 2008, 8:51, More)

Vader with Reflecting Sphere, 1935

(With apologies to Escher and his Original)
(Wed 19th Dec 2007, 18:04, More)

Another annoying advert

(Fri 16th Mar 2007, 0:16, More)

Best answers to questions:

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Thanks to the UK's economy, there's now a growing trend of giving lettuce instead of money to waiting staff.
I fear it's just the tip of the Iceberg.
(Fri 31st Aug 2018, 10:39, More)

» Amazing Projects

Cat climbing frame perch nest thingy
I finished this bit of carpentry recently. I'm rather proud of it. 2 weeks on and it hasn't fallen down yet.


Cat inspecting the quality workmanship...

Laser kitteh demanding to know why the carpet lining isn't properly installed yet...

Kitteh deciding the nest is adequate. For now.

The topmost ledge, the nest, is about 2.1m above the floor. It's all made with about 26 quids' worth of Swedish pine and held together with steel brackets and screws. Very sturdy, hardly any flex (cats like steady surfaces). And before someone comments, the door isn't used, it leads into the kitchen (and is blocked on the other side by a cupboard anyway) so I decided to use the recess for kitteh.
(Thu 17th Nov 2011, 18:08, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Supermarket shortages are getting worse, no food anywhere
I know someone who cadged some herbs from a neighbour and has been eating them straight out of the packet, very low nutritional content.

I think they're living on borrowed thyme.
(Sat 2nd Oct 2021, 16:44, More)

» Celebrities part II

I saw John Leslie being rude with Annabel Giles
The two were up on Calton Hill (here in Edinburgh) many years ago (before Leslie's shenanigans), filming some cheesy treasure-hunting gameshow (so obscure it's not even listed on IMDB). I said hi and asked if I could take some photos for the student newspaper. They said sure, and posed by one of the rangerovers. As Ms Giles bent over the front of the vehicle, Leslie went behind her and pretended to hump her, doggy-style.

My greatest regret to this day is not being fast enough with the camera to have captured that moment.

Length? Just ask Catherine Zeta-Jones...
(Thu 8th Oct 2009, 15:07, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Which rock band from New Jersey toured the Island of Dr. Moreau?
My Chimerical Romance!
(Mon 1st Jan 2024, 0:56, More)
[read all their answers]